Best of njslave

Re: I’m just a girl.
Post by Nick on Mar 29, 2006, 12:11am

“Wow, I was lucky, I got the one good one, I can actually say I was lucky to get married”.

Before you all start with the bashing, let me tell you a little about my wife. We met when we were seventeen and both in highschool. We fell in love and quickly became best friends. That is the secret to our relationship. She is my best friend. We married when we were nineteen, and we were both working jobs making a little over six dollars an hour. What could have moved me to marry? I loved how alive she was/ is. She knows how to have fun. She is, I swear, a borderline nympho. But there are other things that she likes to do. She loves sports and working on cars as much as she likes to sew or cook. She has never in all of the years we have been together asked me to do something that she won”t do. If I can’t get around to it because of work, she will mow the grass or change the oil on the weekends, telling me the whole time that marriage is a partnership.

My wife and I put ourselves through college. I got a great job, and we both worked towards our goal of owning a home. Never in all of our years together has my wife ever put us in credit card debt. We saved all of our money and paid cash for a house. Now we live in an upscale neighborhood, and my wife does stay at home with our son. She is not idle by any means though and has an internet business that does very well, but breakfast is always on the table before I go to work and dinner is always on the table at seven. She actually told me after Owen was born that she felt guilty when she wasn’t bringing any money into the household, and that’s what caused her to launch a business.

Then, just when I thought my wife couldn’t get any better, she comes home today bitching about the women in our neighborhood. I suggested that she get to know them better, because she doesn’t really get along with very many women, and so she doesn’t have any real female friends. She came in the door complaining about her shopping trip with them and repeating to me several times that one woman actually was bragging about her $2000 purse. Holly (that’s her name) was floored, and vowed that she would never “associate herself with those gold digging bitches again”.

I am lucky because I am happy with my life and with the woman who has stood beside me for a good part of it. I have a beautiful son. My house is paid for. My cars are paid for, and I never worry about the laundry or cleaning. I have a woman who cooks two meals a day for me, who loves cars, and whose idea of the perfect present is the most recent book she has been wanting. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but she loves to read, and is the cheapest female on the planet. I offered to buy her a better ring set for Christmas, because all she has is a simple gold band from when we were poor. She refused, saying that there was no point in expensive jewelry that serves no function in caring for a child and a house. She is low maintenance. Each to his own though. Some men wouldn’t be happy with that, but I am.

By all means, most women out there can be horrible to men and will sell themselves to a man for half of everything he owns. After all, it’s the world’s oldest profession, right? However, sometimes there is a woman that is loving and honest. I married my wife almost eight years ago. I have never regretted it. Everything that we own, she was right there beside me doing her part to earn it. She has only screamed or nagged at me a handful of times in our long relationship, and I truly think of myself as lucky to have her. I know men get fucked in divorces. Some women even make a career of fucking men in divorces, but if my wife decides to leave and take half of everything that I own then I know that she worked her ass off at her little crappy job helping to support me through college and then helping to save up for a house, and so she probably deserves half of it. Just posting this to let you know that there are exceptions to the rule. God knows from my coworkers and the stories on the internet that there just aren’t that many in America today.

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Re: I’m just a girl.
Post by njslave on Mar 29, 2006, 1:47am

Nick, I really hope that you’re still reading.

Great for you, your wonderful wife sounds exactly like mine WAS. You’re married for 8 years, big deal, last December I made it to 21 years. She got to stay at home for 16 years, after we started having children, while my career moved ahead very well.

Like yours, she also didn’t spend much, so OUR savings built up. And she was/is an excellent mother. She’s a strong catholic. Goes to bible study every week. And recently because of our divorce, she became a school teacher. Even though when we first married, she had accounting degree, great job, and then later through a management training program, even became a commercial loan officer for a major bank. Had she kept working, she would easily be making over 6 figures. But she wanted to put our children first, and I admit that I really admired that. So I worked harder and longer hours than most people to make up for it, even though I admit, I do not have a college degree myself.

So fast forward to around 5 years ago when things changed. No cheating. No abuse. She wanted to live in a warmer location (Florida) while I make too much money here in NJ. I thought we could make the long distance thing work until maybe 10 more years, I could cash in and move to Florida too, still in my mid-fifties.

I live in one of the most expensive towns in NJ, and my house was almost paid off, so we refinanced it to buy the Florida house CASH, no mortgage, also in a very upscale expensive town.

Obviously like most women, she knew much more than I did about divorce. Like a typical guy, I guess that I had my head in the sand all these years. Working hard, being a dad, as much as possible, such as coaching all their teams in every sport. I was consumed by many major home improvement projects. And I’m a sports nut. I also focused on my hobbies, like woodworking. So the last thing I was interested in were divorce laws. After all, that only happens to everyone else. So if I was a “good guy” and did all the “right things” it wasn’t going to happen to me anyway.

Heck, I had thought divorce was only for the losers, who cheat, drink or abuse, or pick the wrong women to marry.

I still think my ex-wife (to be) is much better than most women. And from what I’ve learned, she could’ve financially raped me through the courts much worse. And because I kept my cool, when she often lost hers, we were able to work out many of the fine points of the negotiation ourselves. My 3rd lawyer (a woman who’s sick of entitlement women herself) doesn’t mind me working out the details with her directly.

But here’s the deal, Nick. You say if you did get divorced, your wife deserves half. Gee, me too! I never had a problem with that. In my case she gets almost 900k. That includes 550-580k for the Florida house with no mortgage, and over 200k from my 401k and the rest in cash and stock.

No problem, right, Nick? You still with me buddy? Alimony for life dude! I was shocked, but I guess I was just stupid. (Hey Tina are you still reading this too??) OK, so that’s around 38k for the next 20 years, and tax deductible, plus 26k (tax free for her) in child support for TWO children, until they complete college in around 8 more years. And I have ZERO input into how that money is spent, if she spends it on them at all. Oh yeah, and I have to supply 8k to each for a car (just signed one over) plus half college costs (over what we’ve already saved) etc.etc.

Anyway, I’m lucky, since she wants total freedom and control, to possibly co-habit with someone else in the future, she decided to switch to a flat payout instead. So I only owe her 350k payable over the next 9 years, immediate if I sell the NJ house. (Kim Cole are you reading this honey?? now understand why good boys gone bad and don’t want to marry?)

So try working (and keeping) your job, while going through the pain of a divorce, and knowing that if you get laid off, you’ll be lucky to get a job for half of what you were making, knowing that you’ll have to sell your house to pay someone 350k, but still be up against a court system that will resist lowering your child support obligation.

So Nick, you said split 50-50? That would be nice. If I get laid off, chances are my half will be wiped out quickly, and I’ll be starting from scratch with nothing after 30 years, and she’ll have everything (except my 50% of the 401k, unless I have to liquidate that too!) And by then, who knows, maybe some other guy will move the Florida house that I worked and paid for.

I am entering nothing more than SLAVERY and praying I can make it 9 years to freedom. That’s not freedom from her. It’s basic freedom from my own government.

So if you want to wave the flag, talk about freedom, and sing “Proud to be an American” well that’s only cool until you get pulled into the FAMILY court system. Then you realize how powerless you really are.

BTW, been lurking for awhile, I’ll register eventually and post more of my story. You guys rock. Family court is a nightmare where Constitution Rights means nothing. We have to get the word out to all of the decent young working men.

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Re: What is everyone’s problem with VAWA?
Post by njslave 2 on Apr 3, 2006, 11:30pm

I personally know of 3 cases of false charges of DV. This is sick. A criminal in the streets has more rights than a man in his own house. Government is now bigger than ever, and the constitution means nothing anymore.

Have you ever listened to a women laugh while she told you she lied to the police? And then she said to me that she could’ve said anything she wanted. That’s tremendous power to give someone, to throw someone else into prison with the criminals.

Have you ever been in prison Lawguy? I’ll be paying 350k in alimony over the next 9 years, and 26k in child support, because my ex decide to take the modern popular route of cashing in early. And I am just praying that I can stay employed, even though so many jobs have been outsourced, so I don’t fall on hard times, and fall behind, and get tossed into jail myself.

Openly being forced into servitude under the USA.

So Lawguy, how about this friend of mine, a white collar manager, years of abuse from an alcoholic ex-wife, when shes screaming and hitting, and throws a living room lamp at him, then he tries to leave, and she blocks the door, so he shoves her out of the way. She calls the cops and lies, and he goes to jail. The cops saw that she was drunk, and still put him into jail, general population.

He said what pissed him off the most, was when she sobered up for the court date, and decided to drop that charge, the Fucking judge tried to talk her out of it, while he was not even allowed to speak.

Instead of just looking at the real cases of violence, our bigger than ever government has decided that anytime a man raises his voice, he could get himself arrested.

Married couples fight and argue sometimes. It’s always been a fact of life. Just like siblings growing up.

Maybe that’s where you can go next Lawguy, why don’t you start arrest siblings when they punch each other and throw insults back and forth.

Yeah, you really like pissing on the constitution and making a bigger government. Maybe one day the sweet little women in your life will throw you into hell too. Just to prove she can.

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Re: “Ex-Wife” License Plate
Post by njslave on Apr 21, 2008, 10:50pm

Apr 21, 2008, 6:07pm, singlediseasefree wrote:
“Christian” woman and proud to be divorced? Reminded me to stay far away from AW… especially the ones who pretend to be Christian. (I have no idea how you actually find the real Christian women, assuming they exist in the anglosphere)

hey, my catholic ex-wife drives a new Red Volvo S40 with the sunroof, but also piles mileage on the VW Jetta that I had to give to my daughter in the divorce, to stay under her lease limit on the Volvo. Yeah, while I drive an old Sebring.

And from that other thread about mortgages, she has none, since I had refinanced the NJ house plus cash to buy the Florida house outright that she got in the divorce.

Yes, she is a good catholic, worked as a part time accountant for a church here in NJ for 10 years while had I move up in my career, and still goes to church every week. As she had through most of our 22 year marriage.

Last summer, when she stayed here in NJ, and I let her go through things at the house, I picked her up from her friends house and drove her to our old church for Sunday mass, and she said I really should go back to church. I laughed in her face and called her a hypocrite for cashing out because the price was right. And tried to explain how I could never go back into a church, for how they have done nothing to stand up against the government’s money driven divorce machine.

Regarding Outcast’s thread on “all women aren’t like that”, my ex-wife was far better than most, but she still proved to me, that given the right incentive, they can all change over time, cash-out, and turn their back on us, and then justify it to themselves.

Yes, mine said I worked too much, and didn’t try hard enough to leave my established NJ job and find another in Florida. Reality, the jobs in Florida were paying half of what I made, so I figured that I’d ride this as long as possible, then when the time came, take a years worth of severance, and the equity from the NJ house, and then relocate to Florida with plenty in the bank.

Being the good catholic she was, she decided she didn’t want to wait that long, especially when she found out how much she could get paid $$$ not to.

Of course, change the system, take away the payout, and she would have stayed in the marriage that treated her so well all these years. But that would be abuse, since now she’s free to have fun and enjoy the money, while I still have to work just like before to pay it.

Oh yes, and now she’s not only a good little church going catholic girl, but a sweet $36k a year 5th grade teacher in the Florida state school system. I pay her more than that in alimony, not counting her tax free child support. It’s really hilarious, because I’ve seen the teachers parking lot. Talk about the haves, and the have-nots. Between the women with the nice cars that live in the expensive town, that are heavily subsidized by a husband or a lucrative divorce. And the other women, with the less expensive cars, that are really struggling making the same $36k salary, probaly all getting squeeze with the higher gas prices, since they can’t afford to live in the town. Those are the ones that are usually unmarried or weren’t as fortunate to hook the right ATM machine.

Bottom line, I got to see the system first hand from the inside, and it’s as simple as this, “power corrupts” and so eventually even good decent women can change, as mine did after 22 years, and want to cash out, and they will truly believe that they deserve every cent that the system lets them squeeze out of you.

My buddy who I grew up with is in the middle of it now, 46 years old, married for 24 years, with alimony starting at $48k for the first of 15 years. And she got a master degree that he paid for, but choose to work a less stressful job for under $40k locally in NJ, while he will now be chained to commuting to NYC to keep her in the lifestyle she deserves. Oh yeah, and his two sons are both single, one independent, the other completing college now, and both are pissed at their mother. We discussed their attitudes, and they don’t care about women for anything more then occasional hook-ups.

Oh yes, and we also laughed about the religion issue too, because they are both catholic, and his wife goes to church every week.

And another co-worker of mine just completed his divorce, was shocked when he was served papers at the home he shared with his wife of 30 years. She is a NJ school teacher making $70k, and yes he is paying alimony, because he makes nearly twice that. His two sons are both independent in their 20’s, single, and pissed at their mother.

Like I’ve said before, my daughters, like most young women, will pay for the sins of their mothers. As young men abandon this broken mess our feminist government created. F*ck the Pope and the Church. They are all corrupt as sin, if the price is right. And to my ex-wife I say, c-u-n-Hell

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Re: “Hit Him Where It Hurt$$$”
Post by njslave on Jan 26, 2009, 10:04pm

if you have any friends that are planning to get married (obviously to a woman they say “isn’t like that”) …buy them a copy as a gift and explain to them that this is exactly what their future will be in 10-20 years.

By the way, split assets were bad enough, but my real headache is trying to survive the economic meltdown after getting divorced just over 2 years ago, when I still have 7 more years of alimony and child extortion to go.

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Re: “Moment Of Truth” Wife: I Did It For The Money
Post by njslave on Feb 27, 2008, 9:02pm

She is garbage, a lying cheating whore, that would have no concern if he was sick or dying unless she can make money on it.

And he’s so damn stupid to stay with her. A cop that gets to enforce VAWA laws against other innocent men, for a living, when given the chance, his own wife would probably use those same laws to her advantage against him.

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Re: “Til Death Do Us Pay?
Post by njslave on Sept 11, 2008, 7:44pm

the comments that followed this article are right on the mark as “David” wrote a summary of exactly why it made sense for my 22 year marriage to end in divorce. It was simply like cashing in an investment before it lost value. To stay married meant potential risk for my ex-wife, but to get divorced meant lifetime alimony at current market value. I have already written in this forum how I bought my way out of lifetime alimony with a ridiculous guaranteed fixed payout that flushed 30 years of my hard labor down the toilet. Which meant convincing her to go against the advice of her attorney. But it’s the concept that I stress to everyone that will listen, from an investment or economic perspective.

Comments
Posted by David – Aug 27, 2008 01:50 pm CDT
Marriage under current laws is an all-downside / no-upside proposition if you are the higher earning spouse. It is a system where the less you put into it during the marriage, the more you get out of it afterward. Under the same ground-rules Communism only lasted 60 years before collapsing. It has now been 30 years since no-fault reforms. Let’s see where the institution of marriage stands in another 30 years.

Divorce is a magical occurence where obligations that didn’t exist even during the marriage itself suddenly appear.

When a married bread-winner loses his job at the car plant both he and his dependent spouse are out of luck. There are no courts to give contempt orders to anyone to fix the problem. When a divorced man loses his job at the same car plant, it is not the recipient ex-dependent spouse’s problem. There are explicit government guarantees that kick in. No wonder so many people are choosing divorce over staying married. Being divorced is so much more advantageous. You are guaranteed a revenue stream, where your old married-self had no such guarantees. Amazing.

In an age when people divorce at the drop of a hat and where 70% of divorces are filed by the lesser-earning spouse, such laws are nothing but barbaric.

Posted by Celia – Aug 27, 2008 03:43 pm CDT
David said:
“Divorce is a magical occurence where obligations that didn’t exist even during the marriage itself suddenly appear.”

David has a valid point. Children and spouses within a marriage have no “effective” legal claim in equity but upon divorce these do indeed appear as if by magic. A good example might be one in which the principal breadwinning partner in a marriage earns a lot but is penurious. In this situation divorce becomes an effective vehicle to relieve the worker of his/her hard-won gains on an “equity” basis. Thus, we see the applicant claiming that the sandwiches she/he made on the weekends for her/his brain surgeon partner constitute a 50% entitlement to the marital assets and a continuing income stream (one to which she/he may have had no access during the marriage). This claim is despite no further sandwich provision by the applicant to the respondent. Call me cynical but in this day and age it is hard to imagine how anyone with even a modicum of gray matter might believe that making some sandwiches is the equivalent of brain surgery let alone that the sandwiches themselves contributed to the surgical skill-set or its utilization – (this is predicated on the argument that the act of sandwich making is the basis of the claim in equity).

A meaningful and thorough legal (vs equity) analysis would cast doubt on whether or not alimony was reasonable, let alone desirable from a societal perspective today. Thus, it really amounts to little more than state-enforced wealth redistribution in this age of gender equality – much like our taxation system – which taxes those who “work” to a much greater extent than those who don’t (cf, inter alia, investment capital gains, welfare recipients etc) – the state takes something from those who make a genuine and measurable contribution and gives it to those who, for whatever reason, do not. Clearly this amounts to penalizing those who work. Alimony certainly served a valid function when women were disenfranchised by society (it wasn’t so long ago that wives and children were a man’s chattels), those days are long-gone and so should be alimony – everyone who is capable should contribute to their own sustenance.

Posted by David – Aug 29, 2008 11:10 am CDT
Celia –
More an more career oriented Men and Women are saying no to $46,873/per-sandwich deals going forward. I’ll have mine from Subway for five dollars thank you. For the first time in US history based on 2006 data, there are more single-led households than married households. This is not a one time fluke, but a long term trend.

A big part of the reason is people are avoiding marriage is the Moral Hazzard that is embedded in our divorce laws where the lesser-earner gets to take the higher-earner to the cleaners; no-fault needed, simply file when you think the time is ripe. It’s like hitting the Cash Out button in an Atlantic City slot machine.

The marriage->divorce->alimony gravy train sounds all good and well. That is until you kill the golden goose that has been laying the eggs for the last 30 years. Just like the imploding Housing/Mortgage industry that became the victim of its own wild success, the Marriage/Divorce industry has been milking this cow for what its worth. What will the Family Law professionals do in the next 5,10,15, 20 years when the business volume is simply no longer there? People are no longer getting married, so who are you going to divorce?

Posted by Optimist – Sep 2, 2008 09:26 pm CDT
…who are you going to divorce? Oh that’s an easy one. Magically, same-sex marriage will be approved by every state legislature, opening the door for thousands more new divorces and alimony/child support opportunities.

Posted by David – Sep 6, 2008 04:19 pm CDT
In 8-10 years time when we see that first lifetime alimony award for “Peter to keep paying Paul for life” then the jig will be up.

What we will have for open display will be the textbook definition of slavery/peonage in its purest form. One able bodied man being forced under government sanctioned force to hand over the labors of his entire life to another able bodied man. Taking gender out of the entire equation will remove the historic/cultural smokescreen and make it bare for all to see. It will be an emperor has no clothes moment.

After that it is only a matter of time before the US Supreme Court has a say in the matter of whether lifetime alimony is constitutional or not.

Posted by Ronnie – Sep 6, 2008 10:15 pm CDT
I’ll keep this short. I disagree. Perhaps it’s because I’m a family law attorney whose practice is 90% divorce. There’s a reason income in marriage is considered marital. If one party consents to the other not working, that’s a marital decision. Sorry, tough. Should’ve thought about that. Besides, at least in my state, spousal support is completely at judicial discretion. But I’m sorry that I just don’t feel that if someone didn’t want his or her spouse to work, that they should be allowed to drop-kick him or her to the curb in divorce with no means to live on until suitable employment is found. Just my opinion.

Posted by David – Sep 9, 2008 10:22 am CDT
Ronnie – Keep up the great work.
According to the Rutgers University Marriage Study
FIGURE 1
Number of Marriages per 1,000
Unmarried Women Age 15 and
Older, by Year, United States:
1960 73.5
1961 72.2
1962 71.2
1963 73.4
1964 74.6
1965 75.0
1966 75.6
1967 76.4
1968 79.1
1969 80.0
1970 76.5
1972 77.9
1975 66.9
1977 63.6
1980 61.4
1983 59.9
1985 56.2
1987 55.7
1990 54.5
1991 54.2
1992 53.3
1993 52.3
1995 50.8
2000 46.5
2004 39.9

Note the accelerating drop over the last 20 years. Why do you think this is? Are there any social policies we should start rethinking about?

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Re: “Yellowbook” TV ad
Post by njslave on Feb 13, 2009, 10:48pm

I noticed the same ad’s on TV a few times, too.
It’s always the guy that is a cheat (which is a lie) and the woman is somehow justified by getting revenge. But if a man did it to her, he’d be arrested.

Essentially she stole his property and sold it, which is a crime.

It reminds me of another commercial about 1-2 years ago, where the guy returned home to find his girlfriend had locked him out of the apartment, and she was throwing his property out the 2nd story window to him down on the sidewalk below.

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Re: 16-year old posts anti-marriage rant
Post by njslave on Aug 25, 2008, 9:29am

I wish I thought like that when I was 16. But that was back around 1976, and my parents, and all of my aunts and uncles from my parents generation, in our blue collar lifestyle, stayed married. The men and women still basically followed set roles. I grew up believing that America shared those traditional values, and marriage meant forever.

Today, it’s amazing how many women can’t cook a decent meal or take care of a house. And back in 1976 we had no internet, and I didn’t know squat about the legalized extortion system that is the divorce industry.

It’s amazing that a 6 pack of beer or a lousy pack of cigarettes come with all kinds of health warnings. While the government continues to makes abusive laws against it’s people, and most people aren’t even aware of them. There should be a law, that all high-school kids, especially boys, get taught in school the minefield of laws that they must navigate daily, to avoid the consequences, financially, or possible serving prision time.

Most boys are oblivious to the laws and the courts, and an effective government would notify them of the laws that they have written, that directly impact its citizens lives and freedom.

Boys need to learn everything from the potential for false accusations, to a lifetime a child support payments, to their exposure to finacial ruin through the divorce process. Most don’t have a clue about NOW, or Emily’s List or what VAWA or IMBRA even are, even though they are being impacted just by being born male.

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1st Bridezilla, now Welcome to SPLITSVILLE!
Post by njslave on Feb 23, 2008, 7:42pm

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Re: A Betrayal Of Feminism
Post by njslave on Feb 2, 2009, 8:12am

If men wrote this stuff it would be considered porn. When women write it, it’s out in the open at books stores like Borders and Barnes & Noble, in plain site of children.

I said the same thing many years ago about the double standard with magazines, since many women magazine were much more raunchy than Playboy, but without the nude pictures, and are in plain site on the supermarket checkout line.

This moron feminist who helped destroy the male led family structure said she thought it was OK 10 years ago, but now that she has children, she feels differently. She was a tool, and now can’t admit she was a fool. It’s only sad that some mangina went and had offspring with this garbage.

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Re: A Dissident American’s Fighting Words
Post by njslave on Nov 28, 2007, 9:59pm

“My Second Wave feminist credentials are rooted in a universalist vision of human rights.”

Yeah, sure. Unless those humans are men, then she thinks that they don’t deserve any rights. OK, so Islam commits evil against women. Sorry Chesler, go to battle with your girl friends. Many men will refuse to fight for a nation that makes us 2nd class and taken away our rights.

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Re: A fair role for fathers
Post by njslave on Feb 24, 2008, 7:57am

Father’s right group miss the real solution.
Take the government out of the picture, except in extreme cases of proven assault or abuse of the kids.
No alimony and no child support, unless the father abandons his family.
If the wife leaves, she does empty handed, and the kids stay where the money is.
Family courts are the government, and have been profiting for decades from the business of destroying families. Get rid of them in most cases, and divorce will drop like a brick, and wives will have to learn to negoiate with their husbands on a level playing field.

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more to come …