Don't Marry

Why Modern, Western Marriage Has Become A Bad Business Decision For Men

Marriage Counseling racket

Marriage Counseling racket
Post by khankrumthebulgar on Dec 21, 2005, 9:14am

I must share this with the Gents on the board about Marriage counseling and my take on it. In my second Marriage I made the determination not to be arrogant but to learn from my mistakes. To try to resolve differences by seeking assistance. Marriage Counseling is a big racket in my opinion.

The Women see it as a means to get a Mediator to agree with them and to modify Hubby’s bad behavior to change Hubby to an acceptable P Whipped Cuckold. Nuts to that shit. When my Second Bride decided she did not like what the therapist was saying she bailed on the counseling. You see it was all about getting KhanK to toe the line. When it came to asking Cupcake to modify her behavior well that was just asking too much!!!

When the second bout of Counseling came the Therapist told me to bail on the Men’s Rights thing that it would hurt our chances of resolving our differences. At which point I asked the Counselor. “Which thing are you referring to? Asking to be treated fairly, or to be held accountable to the same standards as she is”?

The Counselor said “You have a bad attitude”. My response maybe its because the other party ended an argument by pulling out a loaded 9 mm. pistol and still refuses to see it as a problem. Her rationalization is that she is scared of guns is BS. Her perceptions are irrelevant the action speaks for itself. It is a threat of deadly force per se. Can you not see that?

She felt threatened and scared, as you are an aggressive and Strong Male. I responded she apparently believes in Samuel Colt’s philosophy. A gun makes everyone equal. I realized at that point that the counseling was meant to modify my behavior and excuse hers. To rationalize my Wife’s actions as acceptable and to justify her threats of violence. I then ended my counseling and ended my Second Marriage.

Justifying insane behavior of one gender and impugning the other seems to be acceptable to the Counseling Profession. Don’t be surprised as Feminism has infected the Counseling Profession. Even Faith Based counseling sadly has caved into the FemNags.

What has been your experiences?
Re: Marriage Counseling racket
Post by Yet Another Guest on Dec 21, 2005, 9:57am

As JR sez, Ernest Borgnine should be your role model. When in doubt, get the hell out. The fact that you ended up in marriage counseling is a sign that your marriage has deeper problems.

Re: Marriage Counseling racket
Post by thechief on Dec 21, 2005, 11:07am

Three encounters with marriage counseling in my marriage.

The first was fairly early, and lasted for exactly one session. The counselor (a male, and a good one I think) told my wife things she didn’t want to hear. That was that, she didn’t want to go back, although to her credit she didn’t suggest we try someone else (translation: Keep looking until we found one who would tell her what she DID want to hear).

The second was after our first separation. As I’ve written before, I really wanted to stay together for financial reasons and to keep my kids in my life. My wife didn’t want to stay together, which meant that if I wanted to convince her not to divorce me I pretty much had to dance to her tune. I sucked it up, went to the female counselor. I think she was really as fair as she could be, but I was constrained in the sessions. I couldn’t say what I really thought or what I really wanted because if I did my wife would just say “Fine! You’re unhappy with me too?! I’ll just go file the divorce papers!!” So I shut up and played the game her way.

Our second separation my wife was even more unhinged. She agreed to go to a few sessions with me but primarily insisted that I go to counseling by myself because MY issues were “the real problem.” Again, I sucked it up because I didn’t want to declare bankruptcy and really, really didn’t want to become an “every other weekend father” while watching my increasingly drunken, irrational wife raise my kids primarily by herself. The counselor that third time was a guy and a pretty good egg, I think, but I also think that deep down he knew it was a lost cause.

I’ve written about this before, and I’ll say it again: Marriage counseling doesn’t work. In my entire circle of acquaintances I know of exactly one couple that was still together two years later. It’s nothing but an expensive, painful prolonging of the inevitable. My advice? If your wife demands marriage counseling, agree to it. Tell her to make the appointment. In the intervening time between her demand for the counseling and the actual appointment, find a good divorce lawyer and tell him or her to start drawing up the papers, secure your important financial and legal documents, etc, etc. Marriage counseling won’t save you, but that kind of signal from your wife will help you get out relatively unscathed–if you act first.

Re: Marriage Counseling racket
Post by Never Again on Dec 21, 2005, 12:14pm

I agree with the others who have posted here.

I was married for 12 years.

Did the marriage counseling shuffle thing four times to placate the Ex.

Waste of over $70K, my time, concessions and compromises were minimal on her end and maximal on my end. I would NEVER do it again for the return on investment emotionally or otherwise. Did it to placate the wife for 4 years because of daughter and then I filed for divorce when my relationship was on solid ground with our daughter. My daughter was 6 when the EX started her self anointed MATRIARCHY “coup DE tat” and I did not want my relationship w/ our daughter messed up at that point. I sucked it up and constantly worked on my relationship w/ my daughter from there out. I worked less, did more activities, events, fun things with her.

So when I filed and knew the Ex would fight for custody. Because of that I have a great foundation to work from. My strategy paid off and saved my relationship w/ my daughter. I have 50% shared custody and ZERO child support and I’m in CA.

W/O a doubt Marriage Counseling is a racket, scam a MAJOR indicator and sign that the SHTF soon.

Depending on your situation, needs, strategy IT IS the time to decide to “fish or cut bait”……

Since then never needed to go, or felt the urge and have been HAPPILY dating, enjoying my life, friends, success, traveling, enjoying younger women and women same age or so for the experiences, FUN times, memories, entertainment, challenge etc et al….


Re: Marriage Counseling racket
Post by guestman on Dec 21, 2005, 1:47pm

Well, I guess I’m the minority. My wife and I went to counseling when things started to feel “unconnected” (we’ve been married going on ten years now) and went to a therapist. Things are much better than before, but still requires work on both sides. I believe nothing worth having comes easily.

The reality in therapy is to start it BEFORE you’re at the point where there’s too much crap going on in the marriage. Another point is to STICK WITH IT. I also have a couple of male friends who said they tried the counseling thing and they say, “yeah, I went once or twice, it didn’t work.” It takes a while to unlearn habits and one or two sessions isn’t going to work. We went for TWO YEARS, twice a month, and now we maintain our relationship through a once a month “checkup.” Like I said, it helps to stop crap before it happens.

In therapy, you will hear things you don’t want to hear, that’s the nature of it. Your spouse will say things that will probably hurt or piss you off. The therapist will sometimes side with you and sometimes side with the other person. I believe there are 3 sides to every story, your side, the other side, and somewhere in between is the truth.

I was lucky, both my wife and I were determined and went into it with an open mind. Neither of us backed out, it didn’t mean we didn’t WANT to, but we both have what Chris Vet calls “stick-with-it-ness.”
Re: Marriage Counseling racket
Post by XXX on Dec 21, 2005, 2:20pm

Take the wife to Dr. Phil… he will solve the problem.
Re: Marriage Counseling racket
Post by The Author on Dec 21, 2005, 4:40pm
Re: Marriage Counseling racket
Post by thechief on Dec 21, 2005, 7:21pm

Dec 21, 2005, 4:40pm, The Author wrote:

Sometimes we laugh because it’s funny, sometimes we laugh because it’s true.
Re: Marriage Counseling racket
Post by Chewbacca on Dec 21, 2005, 10:33pm

My former pastor (I moved) said he provides free counseling to anyone that comes to see him.

Why pay a psychologist when a church pastor will talk, comfort, and pray with you for free?


Written by dontmarry

June 27, 2007 at 4:34 am


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