Don’t Marry

Why Modern, Western Marriage Has Become A Bad Business Decision For Men

The Marriage Strike

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The Marriage Strike
By Matthew Weeks

For those of you who know me in real life, this will not come as a surprise, but I have no designs on ever getting married. Now, it appears I am not alone in my disposition.

Why Men Won’t Commit: Exploring Young Men’s Attitudes About Sex, Dating and Marriage,” a study released by researchers Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, concludes that men are, indeed, more apprehensive about getting married than before.

“The median age of first marriage for men has reached 27, the oldest age in our nation’s history,” Mr. Popenoe remarked in the Washington Times. “If this trend of men waiting to marry continues, it is likely to clash with the timing of marriage and childbearing for the many young women who hope to marry and bear children before they begin to face problems associated with declining fertility,” he continued. You know this is a collegiate study when an examination of a trend that is affecting men is used to fret about the state of women.

The study contains several possible explanations for this phenomenon, based on interviews with 60 single men, 25 to 33, who live in four parts of the country. While that level of measurement certainly is not statistically significant enough to reflect any kind of a national trend, responses generally revolved around the possibilities of suffering huge losses if the marriage ends in divorce. (“An ex-wife will take you for all you’ve got” and “men have more to lose financially than women” were common
refrains, the study reports.)

To humor the study’s results for a few minutes, let’s examine whether or not these young men’s concerns are justified. If we accept the old feminist argument that marriage is slavery for women, then it is undeniable that — given the current state of the nation’s family courts — divorce is slavery for men.

Take a hypothetical husband who marries and has two children. There is a 50 percent likelihood that this marriage will end in divorce within eight years, and if it does, the odds are 2-1 it will be the wife who initiates the divorce. It may not matter that the man was a decent husband. The reality of the situation is that few divorces are initiated over abuse or because the man has already abandoned the family. Nor is adultery cited as a factor by divorcing women appreciably more than by divorcing men.

The new trend that has taken hold of the court system is what as known as the “no fault” divorce, in which the filing party needs only to cite their general discontent with the marriage in order to be granted a hearing. Women initiate these unilateral divorces-on-demand 3 times as often as men.

While the courts may grant the former spouses joint legal custody, the odds are nearly 40 to 1 of the wife winning physical custody. Overnight, the husband, accustomed to seeing his kids every day and being an integral part of their lives, will now be lucky if he is allowed to see them even one day out of the week.

Once the couple is divorced, odds are at least even that the wife will interfere with the husband’s visitation rights. Three-quarters of divorced men surveyed say their ex-wives have interfered with their visitation, and 40 percent of mothers studied admitted that they had done so, and that they had generally acted out of spite or in order to punish their exes.

Then, of course, there is the issue of financial losses due to court-imposed payments. In the end (99 times out of 100), the wife will keep most of the couple’s assets and –if they jointly own one — the house. The husband will need to set up a new residence and pay at least a third of his take-home pay to his ex in child support, on top of whatever alimony payments the courts impose upon him. These can run as high as another third of his income. (Add the cost of taxes to that and the man gets to keep exactly 13% of his take-home pay — he’d better pray that’s enough to keep him alive.)

But as bad as all of this is, it would still make our hypothetical man one of the lucky ones. After all, he could be one of those fathers who cannot see his children at all because his ex has made a false accusation of domestic violence, child abuse, or child molestation. Or a father who can only see his own children under supervised visitation or in nightmarish visitation centers where dads are treated like criminals.

He could be one of those fathers whose ex has moved their children hundreds or thousands of miles away, in violation of court orders, which courts often do not enforce. He could be one of those fathers who tears up his life and career again and again in order to follow his children, only to have his ex-wife continually move them.

He could be one of the fathers who has lost his job, seen his income drop, or suffered a disabling injury, only to have child support arrearages and interest pile up to create a mountain of debt which he could never hope to pay off. Or a father who is forced to pay 70 percent or 80 percent of his income in child support because the court has imputed an unrealistic income to him. Or a dad who suffers from one of the child support enforcement system’s endless and difficult to correct errors, or who is jailed because he cannot keep up with his payments. Or a dad who reaches old age impoverished because he lost everything he had in a divorce when he was middle-aged and did not have the time and the opportunity to earn it back. Our imaginary man might consider himself lucky if he knew what his life could have been.

Over five million divorced men in America are currently experiencing the situation I just outlined. Without a doubt, their stories and experiences are heard by unmarried men. Can anyone truly blame the men for having apprehension? They stand to gain little and lose everything they’ve worked for in their entire lives should they “take the plunge”, so to speak.

So ladies, if you have a problem with this, speak to your feminist brethren. This is the legacy which they have left behind. By erasing the stigma of premarital sex and encouraging physical liberation, they have eliminated one of the most powerful incentives in history for men to tie the knot. By advocating government as a surrogate husband in the case of single motherhood, they have eliminated the disincentive for women to file for divorce. And through decades of litigious activism, they have given rise to the bloated and intrusive family court system and stacked it so egregiously against the men of this country that it now appears they are subconsciously engaging in what could be called a “marriage strike”, preferring to play the odds rather than assume a massively disproportionate amount of risk.

As for the men, make no mistake, they are slowly beginning to realize that the power is now in their favor. They have more and more perfectly legitimate reasons for remaining unmarried every day. Given a choice between not marrying one’s lady friend — assuming no risk whatsoever and still having the historical benefits of marriage (sex, companionship, etc.) available to them, or marrying the woman and having a 50-50 chance of their lives being utterly destroyed should the woman so much as be “unhappy” with the marriage, the decision is a no-brainer. What women perceive as a “fear of commitment” is really nothing more than a pragmatic assessment of the odds facing men in the prospect of a marriage.

Therefore, the trends evident in this study are not much of a surprise. I would wager that if the study were conducted nationally, similar results would be produced. Of course, such a study would invariably seek to address the grievances of the dejected single women of the country. My advice to them would be simple: offer to sign a prenuptial agreement that outlines the exact terms of a possible divorce: how assets would be divided, how any alimony and child support would be handled, and other vital elements that may be causing apprehension. And don’t be insulted if your potential mate asks you to sign one, or if he desires terms that will be equitable to him. No matter how strong your love may be for one another, the demand for eligible bachelors willing to commit to marriage is currently exceeding the supply, and if you won’t sign it, odds are that there’s another woman out there who will.

NOTE: Statistics in this article (and, in effect, much of its text) are drawn from Glenn Sacks and Diana Thompson’s Philadelphia Inquirer op-ed of 7/5/2002 entitled: “A Marriage Strike Emerges as Men Decide Not to Risk Loss”

Written by dontmarry

January 31, 2008 at 7:42 pm

51 Responses

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  1. Best option:
    Asian women. My Thai partner can’t understand the attitudes of western women at all. Femininity trumps feminism every time. Many western women in Thailand are lonely indeed. Western men are in great demand.
    Additionally it is better to leave the USA permanently, staying outside the reach of its oppressive laws.
    Talen Storla

    Talen Storla

    May 3, 2010 at 6:48 am

    • I like your ideas. although make sure those thai girls are (actually girls to begin with) clean before you get too freaky with ‘em! ;)

      V_ajra

      April 16, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    • This is the best option. Bring ANY women to USA with access to USA courts.

      You’re screwed. It’s just a matter of time.

      Personally, I’m looking at Asia and Africa. Good Luck

      ron murray

      December 2, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    • That my retirement plan. I know that in some countries once you buy a house you do not have to pay taxes on the property. Here in the US after you have paid everything off you have to continue paying the state just to keep it. That means you are just renting. Im scouting out the Philippines myself. Im sure they will appreciate what little I can bring to their country.

      Big Mobe (@Big_Mobe)

      July 19, 2013 at 6:37 pm

  2. Careful I’ve known plenty of men who’s perfect asian/foriegn bride have run off with all their financial assets, withdrawing and taking away their husbands money (one bloke told me he lost half a million! to his philipino wife of 15 yrs) and leaving the country making it impossible for them to get any of their money back.

    I’ve also seen plenty of asian women act sweet and cute in front of their western husbands only to speak trash about them in their own language to their friends.

    No matter who you marry women can always ruin you one way or another

    When you’re in love, you only see what you want to see

    Jack Dohan

    June 19, 2010 at 2:32 am

    • (preamble) and…”When you’re in love, you only see what you want to see”.

      -”Love” is a biochemical state/response in human reproductive relationships which lasts just long enough to crank out viable offspring capable of functioning independently. Hence the term “7yr itch” (yay a kid of 7rs old had good chances of surviving on it’s own in the jungles of pre-modern civilization). ‘Love’ on the other hand, is a much overrated phenomenon when it comes to what human males consider important in their ‘relationships’ and indeed as successful reproductive strategy for individual males. Lust is far more likely to be the governing factor. Indeed, polygamy is by far the more successful reproductive strategy for Men than is Monogamy, and in fact that is the natural state of things. Who are we to arrogantly proclaim we’re morally above this hardwired programming of millions of years of human evolution?

      Case in point: Ghengus Khan. Has something like a million people who today carry his genes. Artificially imposed monogamy would have represented a much lesser or even zero chance that the offspring of this particular guy would even survive to propagate, let alone pass on those very famous genes. The point is, absent the oppressive political impost which is (soon to be ‘was’) feminism, Men’s behavior naturally becomes that which it has always evolved to be. That’s not something to be horrified about, it’s been the successful survival mechanism of the human race for millions of years.

      Regardless of the foreign or domestic female, Man just looks for the best way to achieve his biological predisposition to propagate the species successfully. It just happens that in the current state of things, foreign females are better suited to this result than western women who’ve elected for extinction as their preferred reproduction strategy. All human females have treachery and hypergamy built in to their reproductive strategy because these represent successful gene passing behaviors from the female perspective (always seeking the best deal, strongest most capable male, the stable ‘nest’ for offspring etc).

      The above comment by Jack D is classic female behavioral strategy from the biological standpoint. Men just need to realize and understand what they are dealing with whenever they encounter the (effectively predatory) human female.

      Aussie_in_Exile

      July 8, 2011 at 7:20 am

      • Relative to women…”stable nest” my ass!! “biggest dollars” are what todays woman is hard wired for. Period.

        chester

        November 25, 2011 at 5:54 am

    • “plenty” eh?

      As someone who moved to Malaysia and has been perfectly happy in marriage for more than 8 years and knows similar expats, I haven’t seen ANY like.

      Horror stories spread fast, success stories not so much. It’s like the “ladyboy” thing in Thailand, mention Thailand and far too many just think ladyboys, even though they make up a TINY percentage of the hot ladies on offer.

      Alan

      August 20, 2013 at 2:55 am

  3. Western women haven’t always been bad. Social engineering has worked wonders in destroying all sense of family and community. The west is morally bankrupt and their Jesus never saved them either. If you want a wife who’s actually feminine and enjoys know your role in life then get the hell out of the ailing west and go to the Buddhist lands and start a family there. Just don’t bring any dumb ass white woman with you. That would be the dumbest thing you could do. Get yourself a local.

    Sebastian

    August 30, 2010 at 11:41 pm

  4. Before you marry an asian, you’d better read up on some of the things they do when they get angry:

    In Thailand, women who think their boyfriends are cheating on them may decide to “feed the ducks”. This means cutting off his penis and throwing it out the window. Thai doctors perform a LOT of penis reattachment surgeries.

    Another thing that happens in Southeast Asia is murder by acid or other corrosive chemical. Basically, while you’re sleeping, the woman sneaks up behind you with a tub of acid, which is easy to purchase there. Then she dumps it on you and you die (if you’re lucky) or you live, but are blinded and horribly scarred, and can’t survive without assistance.

    Western women may not stay married much, but at least they usually don’t chop your nads off or dump acid on you!

    Just saying… Watch out for those Asian women, they’re tougher than they look.

    Phil

    August 31, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    • Having grown up in a neighborhood with many Vietnamese and Laotian immigrants, and having _very_ briefly dated a Chinese girl in high school whose parents were immigrants to America, I can confirm that those dainty, pretty Asian flowers are tougher than they look.

      In public Asian women will often bend over backwards to appear deferential to their husbands. But behind closed doors, these women RULE the household with an iron fist.

      CC

      October 25, 2010 at 8:11 am

  5. Why bother getting married at all? Have fun with the women. Buy her trinkets. Don’t even bother with pre-nups. This way you don’t have to fear half your lifetime-earned assets will be given to her. If you want a kid, adopt one. But be prepared for all the consequences if the kid turns out to be rotten.

    I was ripped off by a filipino gal. I was lucky she only took $20,000. I was not married to her. She did everything to bilk me. But she ended up in jail. I heard so many other stories of men being ripped off. I just don’t trust anyone anymore.

    Bill

    September 26, 2010 at 10:13 am

  6. I saw a post on some blog by a female on why she thinks marriages are less popular. She had a good point: People are living longer, so lifelong commitments are not realistic.

    I think that’s a good point, particularly when you see people marry, then divorce, and repeat the cycle several times. This repetition can make a man impoverished, particularly with the combination of no fault divorce and common property laws.

    I’m seeing young women near the end of their child-bearing years buy houses for themselves, and I think they are starting to be aware that they may have to give up on marriage if they cannot con a man into buying into it. You can turn your lifestyle a different way.

    I know another gal who is older, and childless, but found a way to “adopt” children long distance. She sponsors children in countries who don’t have parents. She writes to them and they write back. They send her report cards. She has ways of keeping watch over them from afar. That’s the way of the future.

    In regard to dying alone, one half of all married (for life) couples die alone, don’t they?

    Bill

    September 26, 2010 at 10:33 am

  7. I don’t know about the living longer B.S. Our parents are only living maybe 10 yrs longer than us 15? and how many of them are still married? I think it’s gotten worse because of everything mentioned in the article. If I knew I was only going to live less… say to fifty… I sure as hell wouldn’t get married. It has nothing to do with how long we live and everything to do with the deck being stacked against men. I do agree with the rest of the comments though, adoption is a great alternative. I’ve escaped from two very serious ltr’s in my life and I honestly thank God for that.

    Justin_Case

    November 11, 2010 at 2:55 pm

  8. Interesting perspective.
    I have to agree that the western women, through the feminist movement, have pushed their luck beyond luck; they have gone into the land of diminishing returns. It is obvious to all and sundry that the feminist movement was not happy to correct the wrongs against women, but to oppress men as much as possible. And they succeeded–albeit briefly. What they did not realize is that injustice is inherently unstable and unbalance. Nature always has a way to correct excesses. And it is the correction of nature that we are witnessing in men’s refusal to marry today. And this trend is likely to continue until there is a widespread perception among men that the madness of feminism has been gutted, leaving only those provisions that are fair to all concerned.
    Nevertheless, I must state that many women do not believe all that the feminist movement has advocated, and, like our grandmas, it is those women that are likely to be married for life. Let’s hope and pray that their number will continue to increase.

    quiet observer

    November 25, 2010 at 7:08 am

  9. I am presently leaving a bad marriage first and last. I won’t marry again nor date. I have better things to do with my time and money.

    Plasma Male

    November 28, 2010 at 9:36 am

  10. if you would like to read a great book on this subject including some very good advice, pick up a copy of Gold Digger Nation or go to http://www.golddiggernation.com and take the marriage test.

    hal

    December 11, 2010 at 1:25 pm

  11. In 2011, for an individual of high worth or of high income, there is NO REASON TO GET MARRIED ! Marriage will lead to divorce 50% plus of the time. The higher earner/worth individual could be ruined or best case lose a portion of their estate. Family courts are setup to protect the “poorer” spouse, and brutally punish the breadwinner.

    Specifically, the following will occur:
    1) In equitable distribution states, 50%-80% of ALL the assets brought into and acquired during the marriage, could be given to the “poorer” spouse. Bye bye house(s), cars, cash, 401k, ect….

    2) Alimony – This is money paid to the poorer spouse in order to “maintain the lifestyle” of the poorer spouse. These payments can be 30-50% of the breadwinner’s gross earnings, and last A LIFETIME as seem in US states like MA. This is a form of modern day slavery, but many people do not know about such horrific laws. In addition, spouses of 2nd marriages in some cases, have to forfeit their earnings and assets to the ex spouse to maintain their lifestyle (in MA) !

    3) Child Support – If you made the HUGE mistake of having 1 or more children with your ex-spouse, you will pay a 30-40% or more of your gross income. Most of this money is “free spending” money for the ex spouse, and little goes to the child.

    4) Legal fees – Divorce lawyers are trained for conflict. The more a divorcing couple fights and goes to court, the more money spent on legal fees. HUGE amount of money can be lost to the deep pockets of lawyers.

    ALL HIGH EARNERS AND THOSE OF HIGH NET WORTH MUST STAY AWAY FROM MARRIAGE, OR ELSE BE FACED WITH DIRE FINANCIAL CONSEQUENCES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !

    Steve

    January 8, 2011 at 8:50 am

    • Hate to break it to you, but lower wage earners face even worse penalties. Would you rather live on 15% of a $100,000 a year salary or 15% of a McJob’s wages?

      If one is male it doesn’t matter if you’re unemployed or the CEO of a multinational. Marriage simple doesn’t make sense.

      Lupis Noctum

      May 7, 2011 at 1:44 am

  12. Why have I written this? Because stupid humans are disturbing the order of things. Here is some food for thought.

    1. Feminism is a scheme to raise taxes. Fools. Think abou it.
    2. There is a simple way for men to have sex and keep their freedom which women love. Just pay for it. Most women love money. It’s a more honest way then the bullshit that happens in a so called relationship.
    3. Family and marriage is great but not when society is against the man.
    4. 80% of women are materialistic.
    5. Women are a social beast and have a social need to be materialistic.
    6. Men want a simple life of freedom.
    7. Women (ie. mothers) are to blame for the state of the planet and men.
    8. 80% of men are cursed from the day they are born because they are taught by their mothers consciously or unconsciously to protect this materialistic social structure called human civilization.
    9. Slowly men are waking up to this.
    10. Why would a good man waist his environment, life and freedom?
    11. What can a “modern” woman offer greater then freedom?
    12. Feminists talk about freedom but do not understand the meaning of freedom.
    13. Being a single man (with our natural strength, intelligence, and versatility) is close to absolute freedom. Feminists envy this abilities nature gave men and so try and diminish the status of men in society.
    14. As a single man you can go for a 20 km run when ever.
    15. As a single man you can use your strength and work in dangerous locations with no assistance.
    16. As a single man you can work on an idea all day and night.
    17. As a single man you can enjoy the beauty of silence.
    18. As a single man you can control and balance your physical needs and protect the environment and Earth
    19. As a single free man you can leave human society and its materialistic greed.

    Some would argue if it wasn’t for a woman I would not be on this planet. The truth is if it wasn’t for my mum and dad I wouldn’t be on this planet. My dad and mum are a rare case of a true family. It takes two to tango and they did it with style.

    SO I ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN “WHAT CAN A MODERN WOMAN OFFER GREATER THEN FREEDOM.”
    I finish with this
    It is not men that have taken the freedom away from women, but women themselves with the need to protect their social structure we call human society.

    “A lion roams free until it meets a pride of lionesses. The lion has not evolved the intelligence to do the job and move on. But without the lion or lionesses the pride would not survive.”

    Think about it.

    Zave

    January 10, 2011 at 12:36 pm

  13. It’s just educated city girls taht are the problem. find a church going country girl and you’re set for life. Not all women are feminazi’s

    Betty Sue

    January 15, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    • To an extent, I think Betty Sue is accurate. It’s well-established that the higher a woman’s education degree, the more likely she is to file for divorce.

      My personal dating experience also tends to support Betty Sue’s comment. After a fight, less educated girls are more likely to say, “I’m sorry I got so angry.” But the more educated girl will say something like, “I’m sorry I got so angry … but rage my only means of self-expression in this patriarchal culture that devalues female discourse.”

      CC

      January 19, 2011 at 7:55 am

    • Statistics from every source show that religious people have a higher rate of divorce than normal citizens. Please don’t foist your religious warm and fuzzy views upon this forum, when they are obviously completely inconsistent with reality. Don’t be offended, just be educated.

      Aussie_in_Exile

      July 8, 2011 at 7:40 am

  14. Of PMS and “Roid Rage”.

    Before the term “roid rage” was coined, the term PMS was. Doctors acknowledge PMS as a result of hormone imbalances. But as athletes abuse steroids, some of them completely go berserk like that wrestler a few years back. Steroids when misused have well-known effects like making users irritable and so on. Now, with these two well-known facts, ask yourself this: Does it make a difference if the steroids causing emotional instability come from a needle or a gland? Be honest! It does not.

    Of course, a poly-drug abuser exhibits the same thing as the steroid abuser or the woman with PMS. And there’s another parallel between women and drug abusers. When a drug user sobers up, he may become a “dry drunk”, that recovering abuser who is miserable because he has to stay on the wagon lest he spirals out of control again. But wait! When a woman undergoes menopause, the same thing can happen as the woman “sobers up” from having been cut off by her own glands. I once knew a woman I was friendly with until menopause happened. She became every bit as miserable as any dry drunk!

    Anonymous

    January 27, 2011 at 8:52 pm

  15. You ASSHOLE! All your odds are totally off! Sure, I realize that divorce happens a lot but certainly not 50% of the time! My parents got divorced after 15 years because my dad cheated on HER. My point is, men know what they are getting into when they marry. It is their decision and their fault the relationship went awry. I agree that sometimes it is the woman’s fault, but I am pretty sure that you wouldn’t see a woman cheat on her husband, because the rate of single, DECENT men are so low in America – usually– unless they are whores– decent woman decide that even though their stupid ass husband can’t get off the couch and talk to her for once, they will they with him no matter. the entire purpose of marriage is love, and you shouldn’t get married unless you know that the person will stick to the promises at the alter.
    Now I realize that you have probably never been married and you don’t realize what a great relationship can be like, ut it’s not always the woman’s fault and she’s NOT ALWAYS a gold digger.

    Justin

    June 1, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    • “…you shouldn’t get married unless you know that the person will stick to the promises at the alter (sic)..”

      Most women don’t stick to the wedding vows too. They promise to be with the man, fulfilling his sexual needs and he theirs. Soon after the wedding they begin to tell him they won’t have sex because they are “not in the mood”. In fact, there are laws that say a man can rape his own wife. Imagine a woman who pledged her body to a man before many witnesses, and then turn around and claim that he raped her! When the man is not in the mood, the wife knows how to get him in the mood, and that explains why you don’t hear men crying they have been raped by their wives. But when the wives are not in the mood, it is rape if he tries to get her in the mood. Generally, men whose wife gives them enough sex at home don’t go out cheating with other women (the same reason kids who are well fed at home will not often go to steal the neighbor’s food). Women don’t cheat as often because their sex drive is much lower compared to that of the men, not because they are morally superior. Just as why men don’t buy 100 pairs of shoes, not because they are better money managers, but because they don’t fancy too many shoes.

      quiet observer

      June 2, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    • Justin sounds like a woman…or a 15yr old! lol lol lol (sic). Shaming language, refuses to accept reality, denies proven divorce statistics, and misquotes the ‘purpose of marriage’ (which was actually to do with property title preservation among other things, at least in ye old England). We also don’t want/need to know about daddy ‘cheating’ on mommy, unless there was a valid point being made (which there wasn’t). Irrelevant. And by the way, women ARE usually gold diggers…as proven by the 90% hypergamy statistics (women marrying UP 90% of the time and marrying DOWN a full 10% of that time). That’s called gold digging…because it is a statistically significant behavior disparity from the expected 50/50.

      Facts are so inconvenient sometimes! Especially if you intend deception (a woman would never do THAT, right?). Don’t shoot the messenger, shoot down to the local library and get better educated about the problem.

      Aussie_in_Exile

      July 8, 2011 at 8:16 am

  16. men don’t marry…..the best…and i mean the most effective smart successful advocate for men is tom leykis….the talk show supertstar….leykis 101….
    this is a ticket to avoid the DUMB move of getting married in the usa..search his name on the video web sites to take leykis101…

    he is great for your FINANCIAL HEALTH

    frank

    June 5, 2011 at 3:37 am

  17. You men are all pigs. You need to grow up and be responsible for your actions. You can’t just use women for sex. You need to be chivalrous and a good provider. So what, you are mad because now women have rights? Get over yourselves. We don’t have to be perfect virgins anymore.

    tula2345@gmail.com

    July 5, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    • You don’t have to be married either.

      Uncontainable Spirit

      July 7, 2011 at 12:31 am

    • When will women grow up and be responsible? When will they stop buying shoes and invest their money instead?

      Anonymous

      July 7, 2011 at 2:45 am

    • You women are all gold diggers. You need to grow up and be responsible for your actions. You can’t just use men for money via marriage. You need to be supportive and a good homemaker. So what, you are mad because now men are not marrying you? Get over yourselves. We don’t have to be perfect providers/ATM’s anymore.
      (Sarcasm intended).

      I just love your stereotypes and “blame the men” mentality. You women share just as much in this mess also.

      David

      July 7, 2011 at 6:58 am

      • Exactly. Women want to be married but they don’t wanna be a wife.

        Anonymous

        July 29, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    • Biological clock ticking, looks declining, childless and man less. You made your bed…sleep in it!

      Anonymous

      February 23, 2013 at 5:45 am

    • The problem is that you don’t have to be anything anymore.
      You just exist and expect money.
      Women in America are largely not even Women.
      Would you enter of your own volition a marriage contract that so heavily threatened you with financial and familial ruin only a few years later?

      Anonymous

      May 17, 2013 at 10:13 am

  18. Unfortunately, after all the rage and blame games, we still need each other, lest our species becomes extinct. Men need women for sex, companionship and support; women need men for love, affection, attention, and in many cases material support. Both need each other to continue to propagate the race.
    Feminism has done a whole lot of bad things, not only to men, children, but to women also. We are all victims of militant and senseless feminism. In a perfect world, it should be possible for a woman to be well read, well cultured and yet remain feminine. Education, by itself, does not turn good women bad.
    But, alas, feminism, that man-hating, family-despising, cancerous movement that the devil himself has managed to unleashed upon the human race, is the root cause of much of the evils that most of us are struggling against today.
    As of today, many children will never live in a 2-parent household. Many women will never get married, though they fervently desire to do so. Many men will remain single, though they prefer to settle down with a suitable mate.
    My suggestion to all those women out there is to take a moment and see things from the male perspective. So many hurdles are now stacked against men when it comes to male-female relationships. The family court is little more than a new form of male slavery system. When you add that to the excessive demands of most western women, and the temporariness of modern marriage, you get the reason most men are loathe to commit.
    An honest modern woman will admit, after weighing the evidence, that “the fault, dear Brutus, is not in [the women's] stars, but in themselves, that they [have fever number of male suitors]“.

    quiet observer

    July 7, 2011 at 7:22 am

    • Good, we need to be extinct, I hope a asteroid, meteor comet destroys this fucking human race.. I wish their was intelligence on this planet

      Anonymous

      April 25, 2013 at 7:18 pm

  19. There are exceptions to every rule. My parents have been happily married for 40+ years. BUT (and that’s a very big “but”) they started off relatively poor. Divorce would not have been financially beneficial… because zero dollars divided by two is still zero dollars.

    Granted, now they’re much better off now… but both kids are adults, and relatively stable. They “couldn’t imagine” loving anyone else.

    anonemouse

    July 18, 2011 at 5:01 am

  20. There’s only one good reason to get married and that’s to raise a family. There’s only one good reason to raise a family on this over-populated planet and that’s if you have nothing better to do.

    In evolutionary terms, when lifespans were much shorter, men and women were never meant to live in the same hut for more than about a dozen years.

    Being a life-long bachelor (it’s congenital; I was born this way) I recently turned 60 and casually mentioned I might consider marriage when I retire. Numerous husbands and even several wives took me aside and told me I’m crazy; I don’t know how lucky I am to have stayed single.

    My brother (married several decades & divorcing) called and said, before I do something stupid I should go online and do my profile on some of these match-making sites (match.com, eHarmony, etc.) and they’ll send a bunch of matches daily and you don’t have to pay unless you want to contact someone. Several months and hundreds of matches have scared the crap outa me. They want the sun, the moon, the stars; they want everything because ‘they’re special”. Even those much older than me have NOT lowered their expectations. However, not one, NOT ONE of them said what they’d bring to a relationship. It’s all “gimme, gimme everything.”

    I might have been interested in a partnership (I’ve since recanted) but why would I give up my freedom to live in a dictatorship?

    For more in-depth & lengthy commentary see:
    http://geroldblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/30/a-note-to-my-godson-regarding-the-female-of-our-species-2/

    Gerold

    gerold

    August 19, 2011 at 6:20 am

    • Expectations get higher as single women get older. There could be many reasons for this, most notably having not been in a serious relationship previously they may not be aware of the true nature of men.

      However, my personal reason is that I have forged a life of my own now, and I don’t want some male coming in and rearranging shit.

      I would love to have someone to come home to, confide in, bounce ideas off, share the burdons of life with, experience the world has to offer with, feel safe and at home with. The fact is that is not going to happen for me.

      I had sex out of marriage, at 28 this shouldn’t be shocking, ended up pregnant to a guy who threated to kill me if I didn’t have an abortion, I called his bluff, had my son, returned to work, returned to study, bought a second house, and started dreaming about adventure camping holidays my son and I can take as he gets older. I plan to retire at fifty and travel around the country selling coffee out the back of a converted troupie.

      Quite frankly, where is a self absorbed, over educated, financially stringent male who values freedom over responsiblity going to fit into my life. He’d have to be pretty special.

      Dove Howard

      December 14, 2011 at 7:10 pm

      • Needless to say the above is not what I wrote on my online profile ;)

        Dove Howard

        December 14, 2011 at 7:13 pm

      • >Retire at 50

        I wonder what’s wrong with muh economy

        Anonymous

        May 17, 2013 at 10:32 am

    • It all depends on where you’re looking. Many women in the US and other western countries are thoroughly spoiled and narcissistic. Even within the US, there are still good ones. Go towards the South, and the educated. However, your luck is much better if you consider Asians and/or Africans.

      quiet observer

      December 14, 2011 at 11:53 pm

  21. [...] http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/the-marriage-strike/ Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in Feminism. [...]

  22. Woman think all men are losers because they love losers

    Anonymous

    January 10, 2012 at 5:57 pm

  23. [...] men are. The feminist women who overwhelm family law still believe the law isn't feminist enough. Men are on a "marriage strike". According to current projections, by 2045 there will be 0 marriages per year. Reasons often [...]

  24. MGTOW is the way forward. I try to warn as many men as possible about the risks of starting family. Women abandoned their traditional roles decades ago. Its time men did the same. Live your life how you want and do not let society try to shame you into doing something you know is against your best interests. Independence and equal treatment is what women wanted, it only sensible to give those to them.

    Big Mobe (@Big_Mobe)

    July 19, 2013 at 6:34 pm

  25. I personally believe marriage has declined because gentlemanly behaviour and ladylike behaviour has declined. I don’t want to marry a ‘lad’ with boorish behaviour and lack of any and all social graces. I cannot imagine that a man wants to marry a woman with a potty mouth slugging back beers. Sadly, this is the majority of men and women. Each looking for someone with manners, while refusing to check their own behaviour at the door.

    I live in a country where divorce is weighted in favour of men, there is no alimony not even for a duration of study to re-enter the workforce after having children and shared custody is the default for custody cases even when there is a history of alcoholism, drug use, prison terms, violence and one party fails to turn up. Quite different to your American system. Yet, marriage is declining to the same degree.

    Bastet

    July 31, 2013 at 12:05 am

  26. MGTow is the way forward. Men like me have abandoned our traditional role in society and will not protect women or provide for women or pay for them, Nor will we marry them or father their children. If they don’t like it tough…… and if any women think that the Men Going Their Own Way want to go back to the way things were prior to Feminazism they must be out of their minds. We’ve got our Freedom and we’re not giving it up for any of them….unless you’re an 18 year old blonde Ukrainian beauty queen carrying a personal cheque for £100 million!!

    greywolf 68

    March 1, 2014 at 7:22 am


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