What men consider romantic
What men consider romantic
Post by pussboy on Apr 4, 2006, 12:58pm
What men consider romantic
By Steve Friedman
Men may not melt over flowers or candlelit dinners, but there are ways to sweep them off their feet. Here’s how.
Many women consider men romance-deficient. However, I can say with confidence that these women are wrong. The problem isn’t that we lack romance. We have plenty of romance. We’re unbelievably romantic. The problem is that we define romance differently than you do. And, just as the most clueless guy can learn to buy tickets to a night of interpretive dance followed by a rousing morning of flea-market shopping, you members of the fairer sex might do well to consider what he wants. Hint: It’s not interpretive dance and flea-market shopping. So, here’s a primer for understanding what gestures men consider romantic. I’ll start with me:
Romance rule #1: Don’t expect anything in return
Michelle and I had been dating a little over a month when Valentine’s Day occurred. She’d invited me over to her place, where she was going to cook dinner. I brought some flowers and chocolates, because I’m a guy. When I entered her apartment, I could smell the steak broiling, the apple pie cooling. Very nice. But what was even nicer was her: A low-cut little cocktail dress. High heels. A string of pearls. An apron. (I’m not presumptuous enough to say it was every man’s fantasy, but being mine was good enough.) We kissed, we hugged, we ate. And all was good and romantic, until, just before dessert, Michelle rose from her chair, walked behind me to nibble an ear, then said, “OK, now help me clean up.”
Women, we men folk are all about sharing and caring and doing our part to ensure fair wages and an equitable distribution of housework and whatever else we’re supposed to be all about. But when we think of romance — and we do, we really, really do — we do not think of enforced reciprocity. Just as you want us to buy you things and treat you to dinner and tell you how beautiful you are because we want to, we want you to be affectionate and giving and do the steak and apple-pie cooking because you want to. You don’t want us to say, at the end of a romantic evening, “OK, now help me with the check,” or “I shelled out a lot of cash, sweetie, now it’s your turn to pony up.” Likewise, we don’t want “will you please help clean up” to be part of a deeply romantic gesture. In most guys’ eyes (and hearts and other parts of the anatomy), romance means giving. Not sharing or swapping favors. Giving. We like it when you understand that.
Romance rule #2: Take charge
Men are generally left with some or most of the burden of organizing outings, so the day you turn the tables on him and arrange the whole deal will be close to his heart. My good friend was really struck when his wife threw him a surprise birthday party on the beach, complete with a bar full of tequila and cable TV so he wouldn’t miss any football games and lose track of his fantasy football league. For one friend of mine, having a weekend-long mountain biking trip planned in Big Sur was a highlight—especially because there’s something about the view from a mountaintop, and you with him, that gets a guy feeling very amorous.
Romance rule #3: Add a humorous twist
Men generally don’t go for sappy love notes, but if they’ve got a sense of humor or something else going for them, recognizing that can be very effective. My friend Dan says he still fondly thinks of the girlfriend “who made her own fortune cookie fortunes — not the cookie, just the fortune — and would hide them throughout my apartment, in my wallet, a book I was reading, bedside stand and even luggage. I don’t know how she did it, but she had them printed in red ink, with those little half-cut holes that come on real fortune cookies. She would come up with great quotes and would print the date next to them. Like, ‘Time spent with you multiplies my happiness exponentially.’”
Romance rule #4: Sex should be involved, almost always
Call us simple-minded brutes, but for men, sex and romance are so inextricably linked. Pretty much any effort you make in the bedroom is automatically romantic. Not just fun, but romantic. He’ll feel closer to you—and you to him as a result, which is really what this is all about. If you’re not sure how to jump-start things, know that lingerie will usually do the trick. What you should wear and how to spring it on him depends largely on the guy. As my friend Jack put it, “If you’re 30 and under, a romantic gift to a guy really is (sad to admit) a woman in some clichéd, too-small, black-and-red lingerie outfit. We don’t need dinner,” he says. “If you’re over 30, a romantic gift can sometimes be a ski weekend (or any other activity-oriented getaway). Lingerie is still part of the equation, but not the trashy kind at this stage.”
Romance rule #5: Prove you’ve got him pegged
One man’s dream of the perfectly romantic day might be drinking 40’s of Budweiser together and going to Yankee Stadium for a baseball game. Another might prefer a day of hiking followed by a trip to the hot springs. For another it is going out for brunch and lazing around in the café, drinking coffee and reading the paper. What’s your guy’s favorite activity? Once you figure it out, give it to him. The more I heard from my friends, the more I realized how different we were. Not just from women, from each other. I have never gone for fancy lingerie—it’s always seemed too calculated, too cheesy. And I prefer to read novels and biographies over fortunes, no matter how sweet the intentions of the fortune-teller. Fantasy football? No thanks. All a woman has to do is to show she understands me and is deeply fond of the guy she understands. Then, I’m all hers.
Steve Friedman is the author of The Gentleman’s Guide To Life.
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Re: What men consider romantic
Post by ztp on Apr 4, 2006, 1:35pm
I’ve tried to tell women (since given up) what men want for Christmas, Birthdays, or Fathers Day, but they are too dense or something for it to sink in. Men DO NOT want ties or sweaters. Ladies, you’re thinking like a girl if you buy them that crap. And men feel like you’re trying to make them into a girl. Dumb move. The rule for men is GGG:
- Girls
- Gold
- Guns
Get anything from those 3 broad categories and he’ll feel great. He’ll feel like a man.
Girls:
- Sex up yourself. Give yourself to him all day. Get a cute friend or 2 to come over (daughters are a plus) and make it an all day affair. He will thank you from the bottom of his heart for making him feel like a man.
Gold:
- Give him a suitcase full of cash or precious metals
Guns:
- Weapons of any kind. Bladed weapons. Crossbows. Fully automatic assault rifles. M-79 grenade launcher. Or any other type of toy that goes BOOM or ROARS. Those will make him feel like a man. If that isn’t possible a motorcycle, ATV, jet ski or something else with testosterone will do as a substitute.
That’s it. It’s no big secret. And he will always be happy.
Have tried to tell women that, they nod understandably, and then they run out and buy another tie for their guy. And then complain to their girlfriends that “men are so hard to shop for”. Dingbats. You all are going to deserve your COMING misery.
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Re: What men consider romantic
Post by dickthedog on Apr 4, 2006, 3:39pm
ztp, that’s classic. HAR!
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Re: What men consider romantic
Post by Lee on Apr 4, 2006, 4:02pm
He’s hungry,
He’s horny.
He’s thirsty.
Feed him, fuck him, pour him a beer.
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Re: What men consider romantic
Post by Truthslayer on Apr 4, 2006, 4:26pm
I prefer the Man Show version
Booze, money, porn and MORE porn
When have you EVER heard a man say he had too much of any of that?
For most guys, though, ME time is enough.
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Re: What men consider romantic
Post by ztp on Apr 4, 2006, 11:06pm
Apr 4, 2006, 3:39pm, dickthedog wrote:ztp, that’s classic. HAR!
The thing that blows my mind is that it’s so obvious. And simple! But they won’t do it.
Case in point. I presented the GGG rule (with regards to men) to my mother once. She wouldn’t accept it. Her view is “I like clothes, so men must like clothes. I like furniture so men must like furniture”. I told her men are different from women (she’s 65 yrs old!), but she couldn’t accept that men don’t like the stuff she does (just to clarify she’s held this view her whole life – its not dementia kicking in, but I honestly wouldn’t know when that occurs because the bar in the thinking department is set so low right now). I asked her to ask another male for confirmation. She called her brother (he’s 60). He agreed with the GGG rule. Men would love getting sex as a gift, for example. Her response to him was “Really?”. So you know what she did next. She called all 3 of her sisters. All three of them said men do not want stuff like that (in the GGG categories) and that I was wrong. These are women telling me what I (and other men) want???? My mother heard from males (an adult son and an adult brother) what they wanted, but refused to accept that evidence and instead went to other females to hear what men wanted (clothes, furniture, vacations). Talk about your closed-loop logic. Unfrickenbelievable. How do you reason with creatures like that??? They are devoid of any reasoning capacity and the ability to deal with objective reality at all!!!
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Re: What men consider romantic
Post by thor on Yesterday at 4:09am
Start giving your Mom G number 1 or 3 and see how she feels about it. That should fix her wagon. Avoid G-2, giving money. Women can use that and it will become a monster very quickly.
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