American Women will leave good family men because of emotions
AW will leave good family men because of emotions
Post by sickofAW on Dec 18, 2005, 8:13am
Found in “advice column” …
‘Wonderful’ husband emotionally bankrupt
Dear Annie: I have been married for 23 years to a “wonderful” man. He is a good provider and a good family man, doesn’t drink or smoke, and goes to church every week. Unfortunately, he is emotionally bankrupt. He is unable to share his feelings with me about anything, and it makes me feel unloved. We have three grown children, and they are all we have in common.
I have gone to counseling multiple times throughout our marriage, due to my feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. My husband does not feel he needs counseling because I am the one who is unhappy. Of course he is happy. I take care of everything and satisfy his needs.
I am very depressed and don’t want to work on this marriage anymore. I feel so empty and alone. I know you often advise counseling, but I have been doing that, and nothing changes. My husband asks why I can’t simply accept him the way he is, but I need more. Please help. — Sad and Alone in New York
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by GuestWill on Dec 18, 2005, 8:28am
Pathetic.
After reading crap like this, it just strengthens my desire to remain single and just have flings with women.
1) What happened to loyalty?
2) Do women actually think that men enjoy working 60 hour weeks to provide for her and the kids?
3) How does she know he is happy. He may be sticking around because he is loyal to his FAMILY, not his emotions.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by guest on Dec 18, 2005, 9:14am
Dec 18, 2005, 8:13am, sickofAW wrote:Unfortunately, he is emotionally bankrupt. He is unable to share his feelings with me about anything, and it makes me feel unloved.
What does this mean, exactly?
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by Just a guy on Dec 18, 2005, 10:06am
Dec 18, 2005, 9:14am, guest wrote:
Dec 18, 2005, 8:13am, sickofAW wrote:Unfortunately, he is emotionally bankrupt. He is unable to share his feelings with me about anything, and it makes me feel unloved.What does this mean, exactly?
He has a job and a family to provide for, but can’t dedicate 24hrs a day to making her feel like the center of the universe. If she isn’t cheating yet, she soon will be.
Been there done that. In my case, my replacement can’t seem to live up to my ex wife’s expectations any better than I could. Oh well he should have known better. At least I get some free entertainment out of watching them self destruct…
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by GuestWill on Dec 18, 2005, 10:16am
Dec 18, 2005, 9:14am, guest wrote:
Dec 18, 2005, 8:13am, sickofAW wrote:Unfortunately, he is emotionally bankrupt. He is unable to share his feelings with me about anything, and it makes me feel unloved.What does this mean, exactly?
This is how the woman is rationalizing her future cheating on her husband or divorcing him.
Women can rationalize any immoral decision by shifting the blame to another person. They are not ACCOUNTABLE for their actions.
The more I see the way women think, a lifetime of high end escorts and hanging with my male friends watching sports (while I am not working) is looking more and more like the path I will be taking.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by SumYungGi on Dec 18, 2005, 10:54am
I’m hesitant to judge this woman. We don’t know how the husband acts, and she *has* been to counseling – it’s not like this comes out of nowhere. If a woman wants someone to tell her that she should cheat or cash out, she wouldn’t start off by saying how good a provider he is. Her letter is fixated on her needs, but then that’s the top she’s addressing. So I’m not going to assume the worst about her right off the bat.
If this woman gets divorced, she will feel much more unloved and lonely then she does now. I think she should try to figure out why this man is not sharing his feelings with her. I can think of a number of reasons: she may have the tendency to blab to her girlfriends and may have broken his trust at some point, or maybe she’s going about it the wrong way (I’ve had conversations that felt like I was fending off a rapist), or he simply not have any feeling to share (after all, he is happy), or maybe he just wants to forget things troubling him instead of reliving them with her. Finally, this woman’s problem is not that her man isn’t sharing his feelings, it’s that she feels unloved. If she would understand that being stoic is in a man’s nature, then maybe it wouldn’t bother her so much. Happiness is a choice, and can’t be ‘found’ somewhere else.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by Simpson on Dec 18, 2005, 10:57am
Wanna bet she quit giving him any sex years ago?
The “emotionally bankrupt” bit – pure psycobabble to sandbag him with – does she even know what the word means? She argues with hyperbole – “unable to share his feelings about anything” – bet that’s a load of crap. And she assumes the role of martyr – “I take care of everything and satisfy his needs”.
This letter sets off my bullshit detector for classical manipulative justifications:
Alleging a passive outside interest (“I am depressed”)
Externalizing personal responsibility (“because he doesn’t share”)
Ignoring the internal choices (“so he hurt my feelings”)
Manipulative Trifecta of a Control Freak – young men pay attention!
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by morpheus on Dec 18, 2005, 11:14am
Dec 18, 2005, 9:14am, guest wrote:
Dec 18, 2005, 8:13am, sickofAW wrote:Unfortunately, he is emotionally bankrupt. He is unable to share his feelings with me about anything, and it makes me feel unloved.What does this mean, exactly?
In my personal experience this means that the man has tried hard to communicate but the woman shames him and shuts him down whenever he tries to express a problem. Once the man learns the futility of trying to express any emotion to his unsupportive woman, he quits trying which creates the image of emotional bankruptcy.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by proudly single male on Dec 18, 2005, 11:32am
I would rather be “emotionally bankrupt” than emotionally unstable like many AW apparently are
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by newplaya on Dec 18, 2005, 11:37am
Meanwhile back in reality :
It’s pretty straightforward , but woman can’t or won’t accept this ;
estrogen creates the need to “feel”. Period. However this need to feel is projected as a male deficiency if she isn’t getting her mood swings. That’s why they love the bad boys guys.
It would be much more honest and direct — albeit impossible — for women just to say they need their moods manipulated to fulfill their estrogen demands.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by chrisvet on Dec 18, 2005, 1:52pm
Dec 18, 2005, 8:13am, sickofAW wrote:found in “advice column”
Dear Annie: I have been married for 23 years to a “wonderful” man. He is a good provider and a good family man, doesn’t drink or smoke, and goes to church every week. Unfortunately, he is emotionally bankrupt. He is unable to share his feelings with me about anything, and it makes me feel unloved. We have three grown children, and they are all we have in common.
I have gone to counseling multiple times throughout our marriage, due to my feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. My husband does not feel he needs counseling because I am the one who is unhappy. Of course he is happy. I take care of everything and satisfy his needs.
I am very depressed and don’t want to work on this marriage anymore. I feel so empty and alone. I know you often advise counseling, but I have been doing that, and nothing changes. My husband asks why I can’t simply accept him the way he is, but I need more. Please help. — Sad and Alone in New York
Suck it up bitch, 50 years ago you’d be thankful you weren’t working in a sweatshop / field for 10 hours a day to make ends meet.
My solution? Go to hell.
Knock out gov’t safety nets and these bitchballs would suddenly realize their worth – ZIPPO
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by chrisvet on Dec 18, 2005, 1:56pm
Listen, whatever this bitch is feeling is irrelevant.
Get the idea out of your heads that Hubby is the bad buy. He ain’t and she’s a typical narcissistic oprah home-wrecking harpie and it AINT OUR FAULTS
Whatever reasons she gives REALLY DONT MATTER. It’s about empowerment and self-importance because she has it too good.
You want to put a woman in perspective? Yank her over to the computer and make her watch a few executions on Orgrish.com
I visit the site about every 2 months whenever sweets is compelled to pull a 3 day bitch fest.
As usual, her whining stops as soon as she sees dead women / babies.
Perspective. We have it too good, and they don’t realize it. Thats why it’s up to us to REMIND them.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by XXX on Dec 18, 2005, 2:22pm
Maybe she thinks that the grass is greener on the other side. Why should men become like women and ’share their feelings’? The only men who do this get kick in the balls by women who actually don’t find them attractive at all, this woman just wants out and by giving reasons for her ‘unhappiness’ she is justifying her lack of commitment and loyalty. I wonder what the answer to this whining was, probably supportive of her crap.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by travis on Dec 18, 2005, 4:31pm
XXX, seems like when a man doesn’t share his feelings he’s a jerk but when he does, he’s a wuss. This makes me wonder: do these women have a middle ground?
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by GuestWill on Dec 18, 2005, 4:43pm
Dec 18, 2005, 4:31pm, travis wrote:XXX, seems like when a man doesn’t share his feelings he’s a jerk but when he does, he’s a wuss. This makes me wonder: do these women have a middle ground?
Exactly. This guy is screwed.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by niceguy78 on Dec 18, 2005, 5:17pm
Dec 18, 2005, 8:28am, GuestWill wrote:Pathetic.
After reading crap like this, it jus strengthens my desire to remain single and just have flings with women.
1) What happened to loyalty?
2) Do women actually think that men enjoy working 60 hour weeks to provide for her and the kids?
3) How does she know he is happy. He may be sticking around because he is loyal to his FAMILY, not his emotions.
I cannot think of one reason for a man to get married in the USA, unless she has MORE money than he does (so when she wants to cheat around, she has to pay for it). Not “makes more money” she HAS more money (investments, ect.).
With this said, if men would all together just fuck n’ chuck women (which more and more men are doing this everyday), and most young men (25 and under know this is the only way), then women will soon come crawling back. Even with the govt. in their back pocket, on the whole they cannot support themselves.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by brock on Dec 18, 2005, 5:22pm
You do realize that when you fuck ‘n chuck, that there is a chance of pregnancy, right? And if she ends up pregnant, you’ll still be obligated whether or not you’re married.
niceguy78 wrote:Pathetic.
With this said, if men would all together just fuck n’ chuck women (which more and more men are doing this everyday, and most young men (25 and under know this is the only way), then women will soon come crawling back. Even with the govt. in their back pocket, on the whole they cannot support themselves.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by GuestWill on Dec 18, 2005, 5:24pm
Dec 18, 2005, 5:22pm, brock wrote:You do realize that when you fuck ‘n chuck, that there is a chance of pregnancy, right? And if she ends up pregnant, you’ll still be obligated whether or not you’re married.
niceguy78 wrote:Pathetic.
With this said, if men would all together just fuck n’ chuck women (which more and more men are doing this everyday, and most young men (25 and under know this is the only way), then women will soon come crawling back. Even with the govt. in their back pocket, on the whole they cannot support themselves.
If a guy doesn’t use condoms with an AW, he is foolish.
Yes, condoms aren’t 100% foolproof, but when used properly, they are pretty close.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by niceguy78 on Dec 18, 2005, 5:36pm
Dec 18, 2005, 5:22pm, brock wrote:You do realize that when you fuck ‘n chuck, that there is a chance of pregnancy, right? And if she ends up pregnant, you’ll still be obligated whether or not you’re married.
niceguy78 wrote:Pathetic.
With this said, if men would all together just fuck n’ chuck women (which more and more men are doing this everyday, and most young men (25 and under know this is the only way), then women will soon come crawling back. Even with the govt. in their back pocket, on the whole they cannot support themselves.
Oh, I agree 100%. I am personally on a “Sex Strike” I haven’t had sex in years, and I don’t miss it. A little flirting here and there, and I am satisfied.
I would hate to think of knocking a USA shit woman up. I do not recommend fuck n’ chuck, I recommend avoiding the women all together. But some men need sex in their lives. So wrap it up AND pull out, and you should be okay (use your own condom).
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by Richie Rich on Dec 18, 2005, 6:07pm
..You guys basically summed it all up. Just another convenient excuse to bail on a man by blaming him for the problems. Did anyone here but me get the feeling SHE is a nagging bitch and he is tuning her out to keep the peace???
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by Freshy on Dec 18, 2005, 6:26pm
Dec 18, 2005, 4:31pm, travis wrote:XXX, seems like when a man doesn’t share his feelings he’s a jerk but when he does, he’s a wuss. This makes me wonder: do these women have a middle ground?
LOL, I do think there is a middle ground in this.
In cases like this I think it’s usually a problem with expectations. A woman cannot expect to get all her needs met from one person (her husband/boyfriend) and needs to realize that this is the place where having some good girlfriends to talk with is very important. Sometimes women just need the support that only other women can supply. Unfortunately in our society I think there is often a belief that our partner should be able to supply all of our wants and needs, especially a male supplying those needs of a female.
In general I think guys are better at recognizing that they need to spend time with their guy friends and there are things they get from those friends that they could never get (nor should they actually want too) from a woman. Personally I make it a point to keep a few good friends that I talk to and see so that I don’t start relying to heavily on my boyfriend for needs he can’t and shouldn’t have to meet.
At the same time my boyfriend realizes the importance of this and will occasionally push me to go hangout with those friends. Heck, we actually had this conversation just last night. We were out at a bar (kids with the ex) and a girl I’ve recently started becoming friends with was there. My boyfriend is old friends with the bartender (yeah for free drinks, lol) and the girl is the bartenders girlfriend.
My boyfriend and I switch off who is playing designated driver and last night was his turn, so he got to decide when we left. We ended up staying late because the girl and I were having a great time and great conversation. When we got back to my house my boyfriend told me he had been ready to leave earlier and I felt badly because I would have left had he asked. He then told me that while he would have left earlier he knew I was enjoying myself and that he wants to help me foster my friendships.
The reverse of this is that I have stayed late before when he was having a good time with his friends. Oh, and while he would have been ready to leave earlier he did have a bunch of friends there so it’s not as though he was bored, he was just getting tired.
Now, in more general terms what I see too often is the father not taking the children often while they are young and the wife begins to rely on her husband to heavily because she cannot foster her friendships. Of course since the woman in the OP refers to the fact that her kids are grown she should now have plenty of time to seek out those friendships and she needs to do so.
My bet, if she stops relying on her husband for needs he can’t meet he’ll start to feel less pressured and actually open up a bit more, and there is the middle ground.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by Man on the white horse on Dec 18, 2005, 6:39pm
Dec 18, 2005, 6:26pm, Freshy wrote:
A woman cannot expect to get all her needs met from one person (her husband/boyfriend)
EXACTLY. My last 2 relationships failed because I could not live up to these unrealistic expectations. No person can be everything to another. Ask these two women and they will tell you that there is someone out there who will be their everything, just like the book they read in 6th grade told them.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by guestly on Dec 18, 2005, 6:42pm
Unfortunately, he is emotionally bankrupt.
What does this mean, exactly?
He’s a WONDERFUL husband, so accusing him of something vague is the only shot at control and victim hood she has. Now that his sex drive has gone down some, she doesn’t have the control over him she once had. And he refuses to be manipulated in the only way she can do it at this point in her life. He refuses to play the game and admit to things that are not his fault. She is trying to emasculate him so she can control him, and now that the kids are grown, she IS bored. Kudos to him for remaining strong and not being shrunk down and controlled.
He is unable to share his feelings with me about anything, and it makes me feel unloved.
An outright lie. It is NOT his fault for not wanting to talk about his workday or Oprah. I doubt he is forcing football down her throat, hopefully he is “permitted” to watch it in the first place.
We have three grown children, and they are all we have in common.
And it’s all his fault because she mentioned it. But I’m sure she is too busy, now that the kids are grown, to find a common interest or add something of substance to her life worth discussing.
I have gone to counseling multiple times throughout our marriage, due to my feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. My husband does not feel he needs counseling because I am the one who is unhappy. Of course he is happy. I take care of everything and satisfy his needs.
Another outright lie. She takes care of everything, yet cannot name one thing she does for him that is out of her way, and all the while she calls him a great provider. Pathetic. And she thinks he is wrong for not letting the shrink have a shot at him – lol.
I am very depressed and don’t want to work on this marriage anymore. I feel so empty and alone. I know you often advise counseling, but I have been doing that, and nothing changes.
She’s been giving him alot of whining, and it isn’t “working.” Even the shrink can’t find a real reason he needs to change for her. Maybe if he wouldn’t be so damn busy providing they would have something on him.
My husband asks why I can’t simply accept him the way he is, but I need more. Please help.
She needs to be able to control him somehow, and it’s all about her. Oh he’s great but…Need Need Need, me me me. She is now in the rationalize the break stage. The shrink isn’t working, so Dear Feelings, it’s OK to cash out just because I want to, right?
*Hey nice site guys.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by Aguest on Dec 18, 2005, 7:06pm
Dec 18, 2005, 1:56pm, chrisvet wrote:
You want to put a woman in perspective? Yank her over to the computer and make her watch a few executions on Orgrish.comI visit the site about every 2 months whenever sweets is compelled to pull a 3 day bitch fest.
As usual, her whining stops as soon as she sees dead women / babies.
What you are doing to your wife/gf is called emotional abuse. I’m seeing some very red flags here …
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by theguest on Dec 18, 2005, 7:55pm
What you are doing to your wife/gf is called emotional abuse. I’m seeing some very red flags here …
What you are saying here is he should accept her emotional abuse. Shame on you.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by Snakey on Dec 18, 2005, 8:28pm
Sometimes women create problems out of boredom. Sounds like the case here.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by XXX on Dec 19, 2005, 3:44am
I feel she needs to create a ‘crisis’ so as to make her husband realize that if he doesn’t behave and dance to her tune, he will LOSE THE LOT, if he doesn’t want a messy, acrimonious divorce, he must obey…
Her: “Husband…”
Him: “Yes, MASTER…”
Her: “RISE!” (To the tune of Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith.)
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by guestman on Dec 19, 2005, 9:01am
I visit the site about every 2 months whenever sweets is compelled to pull a 3 day bitch fest.
As usual, her whining stops as soon as she sees dead women / babies.
CV you’re screwed up man.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by khankrumthebulgar on Dec 19, 2005, 9:32am
Two decades of listening to Phil Donohue, Oprah, Sally Jesse, Rosie O’Gasbag, Dr.Phil (Mangina Excuser) and is it a wonder our Women are in an arrested state of emotional development. Now you add Lifetime Entertainment for Women, and Oxygen Chick programming 24/7/365 and you have Women incapable of rational thought.
Men are now expected to be a combination of Bad Boy, Entertainer, Daddy Warbucks, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Mr. Fixit, Protector, Friend, Walking ATM machine, all on demand and think like a Female. What’s up with that Shit?
The joke in “Something About Mary” sums up the mentality of Modern AWs. “I am looking for a 10 lb. Vibrator with a Trust Fund”. Cameron Diaz was laughing when one of the Actresses made this statement. It is absolute Misandry. And Ben Stiller Mangina loser Boyfriend is whining about not getting any. Get a clue dingbat. Thailand, Philippines, Rio beckon you. Tell the AWs to find that Battery Operated Boyfriend with the Trust Fund.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by Allah on Dec 19, 2005, 9:57am
Emotionally dead, emotionally bankrupt, eh? Well, this curiously unempathetic creature does not seem to understand that when a spouse shows nothing but emotion it drains the very life blood from her significant other. Notice how an ultra-talkative wife usually has a husband who says nothing (why should he, when she does enough talking for ten people?)? Or that many neurotic women have zombies for husbands (once again, why show emotion when your wife shows enough for an entire village?)? When a man has to listen non-stop to nonsense, walk on eggshells and put up with hysteria, isn’t it normal that he will zone out and become semi-catatonic? Besides, if he were emotional, she would consider him feminine and not look up to him. Never win, never win, never win.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by maury on Dec 19, 2005, 2:00pm
I know a Filipino girl in the US who has this quote on her web journal “guys are for f*cking and women are for friends”, meaning she understands that her girlfriends are for all her talking that most guys dont care about.
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Re: AW will leave good family men because of emot
Post by XXX on Dec 19, 2005, 2:41pm
If in the future, technology advances to the point where science can create realistic looking women that behave the way men want and do the things men like (kind of like in Terminator) real women will be obsolete! No more silent treatment, shaming, begging for “it”!
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