A new low in stupidity… Woman marries Dolphin
A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphin
Post by Richie Rich on Dec 30, 2005, 12:42pm
Brit Jew marries dolphin
Unusual wedding: British woman marries her beloved dolphin in Eilat ceremony
Joe Kot
Till death do us part? An unusual wedding ceremony was held in the southern resort town of Eilat on Wednesday, as Sharon Tendler, a 41-years-old Jewish millionaire from London married her beloved Cindy, a 35-years-old dolphin, Israel’s leading newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported Thursday.
The groom, a resident of the Eilat dolphin reef, met Tendler 15 years ago, when she first visited the resort. The British rock concert producer took a liking to the dolphin and has made a habit of traveling to Eilat two or three times a year and spending time with her underwater sweetheart.
“The peace and tranquility underwater, and his love, would calm me down,” the excited bride said after the wedding.
After a years-long romance, Tendler decided to embark on the highly unusual path of tying the knot with her beloved dolphin. Last week, she approached Cindy’s trainer Maya Zilber with the extraordinary request.
Zilber accepted the challenge and “talked the idea over with the fellow,” who apparently consented.
‘I’m not a pervert’
And so on Wednesday afternoon, the thrilled bride, wearing a white dress, walked down the dock before hundreds of astounded visitors and kneeled down before her groom, who was waiting in the water.
Cindy, escorted by his fellow best-men dolphins, swam over to Tendler and she hugged him, whispered sweet nothings in his ear, and kissed him in front of the cheering crowd.
After the ceremony was sealed with some mackerels, Tendler was tossed into the water by her friends so that she could swim with her new husband.
“I’m the happiest girl on earth,” the bride said as she chocked back tears of emotion. “I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert,” she stressed.
Tendler said she and her newly wed husband will probably spend their wedding night bowling.
“But what kind of children would they have?” one of the children in the crowd asked his father
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by Niall NLIT on Dec 30, 2005, 12:47pm
‘I’m not a pervert’
Er… yes you are.
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Ultimate moral decline
Post by Richie Rich on Dec 30, 2005, 12:56pm
Gentlemen, we are witnessing the disintegration of civilization and moral decency with such acts of madness from women. At first I never quite understood why some men in here called for women’s rights to be stripped all together because of poor morals and idiotic impulses but now I understand!!!
Soon will come all these women with 5 cats or dogs at home who will decide to marry “fluffy” or “Rover” because he is a more suitable mate than a man could ever be. Where are the feminists denouncing such shameful behavior as this and those women who are now on the news regularly having sex with minors??
….Looks like a modern day repeat of Sodom and Gomorrah again with ruins on the horizons!!!
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by toadman1 on Dec 30, 2005, 2:02pm
Wonder how she consummated her marriage? Oh wait, I think I don’t want to know.
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by King Karan on Dec 30, 2005, 2:11pm
Wasn’t there a case in Orlando few years back when a woman actually acused a dolphin of sexual harassment?! I’ m not kidding, apparently the male dolphin responded to her and — so was reported — got an erection (whatever hat means in the dolphin world) and wanted her to pet him. As far as I remember, she wanted to sue Sea World, but am no sure what happened and whether they settled. It would be nice if someone can find that story.
Another example for the young men that both the system and good portion of the women have gone completely mental. DO NOT MARRY!
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by Guest on Dec 30, 2005, 2:48pm
… would that be the woman or the dolphin?
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by travis on Dec 30, 2005, 2:59pm
Damn, even other animals have to deal with us. I feel sorry for Ecco.
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by King Karan on Dec 30, 2005, 3:04pm
hahahaha, the dolphin sure did screw up. Must inform those guys at Sea World to invent some form of a signal about “legal danger” when dealing with human females.
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by Recently Married Dolphin on Dec 30, 2005, 3:57pm
I wish I had found this board before getting married. I was once a happy single male dolphin, free to swim and mess around with my buddies. I wasn’t a rich dolphin or anything, but I used to do ok. I had a nice reef and cool dolphin, sea lion, and other aquatic friends I could hang with. I worked on staying fit and on my spiritual life. I was even able to set aside some seashells for investing. Now my life is a nightmare.
I have a friend who is a manatee and he told me this marriage was a big mistake. I should have listened. I figured, hey if doesn’t work out I’ll just break it off and return to the sea. My lawyer, who is a great white shark and not scared of much, is scared of divorce court. He told me if I return to the sea she gets half my reef and 60% of all the fish I catch for the rest of her life. What bs.
She told me she was a mermaid, and I thought she might be because she had pretty blonde hair. Well, come to find out she was lying the entire time we dated. And three weeks after the wedding she cuts her nice hair into this dyke short hair cut. Why do humanoid women do that? Do they think it is attractive to men or dolphins?
I did get a prenup, but unfortunately my shark lawyer tells me it isn’t worth the seaweed it is printed on.
Since we got married, all she talks about is redoing the house – spending money I don’t have and racking up debt I can never hope to pay off in the next ten years!!! I am a dolphin, why do I need stone in the foyer and granite in the kitchen? I could spend that money on a really cool jet ski or something.
And her friends! They are constantly telling her to divorce me, that I am no good for her. They even give her names of divorce lawyers they recommend. And you should see her friends!!! They are bigger than whales, and I know a lot of whales.
My life was once really great. I could meet and spend time with some awesome Russian, Asian, and Latin female dolphins when I traveled outside the UK. Now when I leave the house for two minutes it is an endless list of questions and complaints about how I am spending all my time at the beach, and I better not be looking at any cute dolphins with hot slender fins.
I feel I am constantly being tested against some bs list of “what your husband should be” that she took off the latest Oprah episode.
I should have listened to rule, christ vet, antiraid, and all the other men on this board. Let me speak to you as dolphin to man – do not make the same mistake I did and stay single!!! It just isn’t worth it.
Oh and by the way, we haven’t had sex since the fourth week of our wedding. She refuses to even discuss it. I tell her I am a dolphin and I have needs, but she uses sex to manipulate me. My blow hole is about to explode.
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by PsychoBear on Dec 30, 2005, 4:03pm
Great, I’m off to marry my mares and ewes.
I’m not a pervert, honest.
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by toadman1 on Dec 30, 2005, 4:24pm
ROFLMAO, RMD!!!!
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by Patr3 on Dec 30, 2005, 4:41pm
I feel sorry for the dolphin, he deserves a better wife.
This just shows what women have turned marriage into. No matter how much she liked the dolphin, why did she need to go through a wedding ceremony?
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by travis on Dec 30, 2005, 4:58pm
Well look on the bright side, at least is was a heterosexual marriage. No wonder the Church-State hasn’t intervened.
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by LightningAura on Dec 30, 2005, 5:22pm
LMAO
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by khankrumthebulgar on Dec 30, 2005, 9:29pm
I am very sorry to say that we will inevitably have I predict within 5 years a TV show that introduces the topic in Prime Time TV of Bestiality.
Tonight while watching the Ghost Whisperer there was a promo for a new TV show on CBS in January. “Love Monkey” about a Single Man, Record Producer, handsome, wealthy, enjoying the single life. It is intended to get Single Men to realize they should “commit” to be “Real Men”. The Shaming and use of Media to turn up the heat on the Marriage Strike has begun. Lots of pretty hot Women featured on the promo.
Manginas & PAMs will love this disinformation campaign show. I see the hand of the Media in this to influence Public Opinion on how selfish it is for Men to be single.
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by antiriad on Dec 30, 2005, 10:56pm
Dec 30, 2005, 9:29pm, khankrumthebulgar wrote:I am very sorry to say that we will inevitably have I predict within 5 years a TV show that introduces the topic in Prime Time TV of Bestiality.
Tonight while watching the Ghost Whisperer there was a promo for a new TV show on CBS in January. “Love Monkey” about a Single Man, Record Producer, handsome, wealthy, enjoying the single life. It is intended to get Single Men to realize they should “commit” to be “Real Men”. The Shaming and use of Media to turn up the heat on the Marriage Strike has begun. Lots of pretty hot Women featured on the promo.
Manginas & PAMs will love this disinformation campaign show. I see the hand of the Media in this to influence Public Opinion on how selfish it is for Men to be single.
Too bad I stopped watching TV six years ago
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by Never Again on Dec 31, 2005, 12:04am
Why am I not surprised ?
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by King Karan on Dec 31, 2005, 7:00am
With the break up of the family and the emphasis on gay “unions” nowadays, what is to stop a woman from “co-habiting” and “marrying” an animal, or a plant for that matter?!? Hell, some women “love” flowers or trees so much, it is impossible to argue philosophically not to “marry” them.
Somebody asked how did the woman consummate the marriage. As far as I remember, dolphins have penises and they do get erect, but am no expert on the matter. But had she “married” a horse for example, she’d have no problem convincing a judge that it was the best sex of her life.
What are the immigration implications, does the dolphin need some form of spouse visa or a green card to enter the UK/US? And what happens to the dolphin if she divorces him??? 
P.S. I can’t stop laughing at this:
“After the ceremony was sealed with some mackerels, Tendler was tossed into the water by her friends so that she could swim with her new husband.”
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by sirlancelot on Dec 31, 2005, 9:13am
http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html
“The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.”
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by Never Again on Dec 31, 2005, 10:22am
That has got to be the MOST FUCKED UP individual I have read about in some time.
yes to each their own but that is over the edge….
NEVER ceases to amaze me….
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by dataguy on Dec 31, 2005, 12:26pm
Dec 30, 2005, 3:57pm, Recently Married Dolphin wrote:I wish I had found this board before getting married. I was once a happy single male dolphin, free to swim and mess around with my buddies…
ROFLMFAO Funniest goddamn thing I’ve read all year!
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Re: A new low in stupidity…Woman marries Dolphi
Post by SoStrange on Jan 1, 2006, 2:04pm
It all makes sense now
“Humans, bonobos and notably dolphins are animals known to have non-reproductive sex, apparently for the sake of pleasure.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_intercourse
“How long, after penetration, does it take for a male dolphin to climax?
Q9: Here I have good news and bad. First the good news: In a few minutes, he may be ready to go again. Now the bad: A dolphin can consider himself a major STUD, if he lasts an average of 12 seconds. I’ve seen males ejaculate before they even touch anything with their penis. They can last up to around a minute, if gently pleasured by a human hand. “
http://www.zoophile.net/dolphin_anatomy.php
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