Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Yet Another Guest on Sept 18, 2005, 8:00pm
This may have been posted waaaaaaay back before, but I’ll ask it anyway: Any good comebacks to “Why aren’t you married yet?”
Some of my faves are:
1. Why aren’t you thin (females)/rich (males)?
2. What, you expect me to make some poor gal miserable?
3. I’m afraid of ending up with someone like you.
4. Why should I buy a house for a woman I don’t like?
5. I can’t believe your poor taste asking such personal questions like that in public!
Any others?
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by nastyrobot on Sept 18, 2005, 8:03pm
6. Why not just bang my head against a wall and burn all my money?
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by TyHigs on Sept 18, 2005, 8:04pm
I find that American women act very manly, and I’m not gay.
But I suppose this means I cant handle a strong woman.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by travis on Sept 18, 2005, 9:51pm
7. Because marriage is slavery.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by you on Sept 19, 2005, 12:44am
I simply tell them I’m participating in The Marriage Strike and divorce is slavery for men.
If they probe further, I point them to:
dontmarry.com
nomarriage.com
mirrorofthesoul
etc
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Madsen on Sept 19, 2005, 12:51am
ChrisW79 posted this in another thread, seemed like it would go well here:
9. Why?
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Snakey on Sept 19, 2005, 1:02am
10. Because marriage is the no. 1 cause of divorce.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by The Author on Sept 19, 2005, 1:29am
11. I know…My eggs are dying by the minute! I better hurry!
12. When I see a happy long-term marriage, I will start to think about it.
13. B/c its hard to find a good woman. Feel free to set me up.
14. There are no good women left ! They’re all taken.
15. I want to marry, and quit working, and swim all day. But I’m not finding any takers! Too many selfish women! I need someone to treat me like the Prince I am !
16. I only make $200k.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by name on Sept 19, 2005, 4:17am
17. No reason.
18. Dont know.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Niall on Sept 19, 2005, 4:53am
I don’t have to put my hand in a pan of boiling water to know I won’t like it.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by sirlancelot on Sept 19, 2005, 5:27am
“I’m waiting for a woman to whisk me off my feet, shower with me with gifts, take me to Paris, propose to me and vow to provide and protect me for the rest of my life.”
As women will invariably point out “Well, that strategy is not going to get you a wife!” you can retort “And such an attitude is not going to get women husbands, but most of you seem to stick to it.”
Or, my favourite response to the suggestion that I ought to get married:
“LOL! Marriage! ROTFLMAO!!!”
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by HappilySingle on Sept 19, 2005, 5:29am
19. One word: FREEDOM!
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by skeptos on Sept 19, 2005, 11:39am
20. Because I like my life.
Skeptos
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by CuriePoint on Sept 19, 2005, 1:15pm
21. Because if I wanted to live with a psychotic, I’d move into a mental institution.
22. Because being single and broke is less painful than being married and flayed alive…and broke.
23. It would be quicker to take my self-respect, my pride, my dreams, my ambitions, and my money and possessions and just burn them on a bonfire.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by John Ross on Sept 19, 2005, 1:56pm
24. Because I like sex way too much to have to give it up.
25. Because I don’t want a wife who will cash out–and that’s almost all of them.
26. With depreciating assets, I prefer to lease.
27. I don’t want to give my girlfriend a license for bad behavior, and give up my right to get a new girlfriend at no cost.
28. Because I prefer a relationship that offers me benefits instead of just liabilities.
JR
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Me on Sept 19, 2005, 10:08pm
29. Because I like being happy.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Admin on Sept 19, 2005, 10:45pm
(Taking a page from the girls…..)
30. There aren’t any good gals out there”
31 . “All the good ones are already taken.”
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by TheGuardian on Sept 19, 2005, 11:06pm
32. Because indentured servitude sucks.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by bob the other white meat on Sept 20, 2005, 12:52am
my brother-in-law asked me “are you ever going to get married” i said “i’ve experienced korean women, mexican women, and u.s. women and american women suck (and not in a good way). if i ever get married it will be outside this country” he said ” i know thats right”
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by youngbuck1 on Sept 20, 2005, 11:53am
I never invest in depreciating assets.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by travis on Sept 20, 2005, 4:01pm
If a beautiful, rich married couple divorced (Brad and Jen), what makes you think an average couple like us won’t?
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by dataguy on Sept 20, 2005, 4:46pm
I decided to skip my first divorce.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by sirlancelot on Sept 20, 2005, 5:15pm
Because if I really wanted to live with a fat aging woman who nags at me for not doing my share of the housework, who screams at me for not taking my muddy shoes off when I come into the house, who shouts at me for coming home blinding drunk and who refuses to have sex with me, then I’d just move back in with my mother.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Patr3 on Sept 20, 2005, 5:41pm
Because I am not worthy of a woman with declining looks who thinks she is smarter than I am and demands to be equal while doing less than I do while even thinking she is better. I am just doing it for her, let her marry the drug-dealer she’s shagging. He is exciting, so he must be a good provider.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by 1911Fan on Sept 22, 2005, 2:13am
I know I would make some woman a great husband but there just aren’t any women that are good enough to be my wife.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by travis on Sept 29, 2005, 10:31pm
Good news guys, 8 more comebacks! Ironically, these were made by a womyn:
Quote: ‘Stop Giving Me a Hard Time About Being Single’
Brought to you by Karen Salmansohn and Match.com!If you’re single, chances are you’ve been asked the following three questions:
Why aren’t you married?
Why aren’t you married?
and the very, very popular:
Why aren’t you married?
… give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.
So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren’t you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.
1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that’s still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What’s the hurry?
2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.
3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:
Catwoman: Single.
Buddha: Single.
The Lone Ranger: Single.
Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God–also single.4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.
5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?
6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)–single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as “unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque”–when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.
7. It’s easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging–like an astrophysicist.
8. True love is rare. That’s why it’s called “love” and not “really like” or “settling.” And why we don’t say: “I’m settling for you, honey” over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by playerintraining on Sept 30, 2005, 2:13am
Some woman asked me the same question the other day.
I didn’t think of it at the time, but I should have said:
“Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Lee on Sept 30, 2005, 12:29pm
“I just haven’t met the right girl/young woman/woman/person yet.”
Knowing full well the right woman is Monica Belluci, who will cook and clean and defer.
“I’d love to start a family someday.”
‘A family’ of investments, that is.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by sirlancelot on Sept 30, 2005, 6:07pm
Because it would interfere with the secret work I am doing for the government.
(After saying that line, look all shifty, clear your throat then change the subject.)
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by NeckDeep on Sept 30, 2005, 6:23pm
“Because your daughter is only 14, I want to wait until she is of legal age”
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by sparky on Sept 30, 2005, 9:40pm
I can get any women I please, it’s just that I can’t please any of them.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by erich on Sept 30, 2005, 10:14pm
33. Because I will get pissed when she tells me that she wants to try lesbianism.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by sayonara on Nov 5, 2005, 1:22am
Sept 18, 2005, 8:00pm, Yet Another Guest wrote:This may have been posted waaaaaaay back before, but I’ll ask it anyway: Any good comebacks to “Why aren’t you married yet?”
Because I’ve heard/read too many horror stories from honest, hard-working husbands/fathers who’ve been divorced and raped by the pro-feminist / anti-male / anti-father family court system.
Feminist laws have made intimate relations with American Women too risky.
(somebody else said this – I’d like to know who.)
Add to that the inexcusable, inconsistent, deceitful behavior of modern American Women and you’d be a fool to marry.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Chewbacca on Nov 5, 2005, 4:57am
Someone at church asked me that once.
I said “In this day and age marriage is just so GAY.”
This was a few weeks after all the sodomite and lesbian marriage crap that was going on in Boston and California.
I am a heterosexual, so why would I want to be associated with a practice that is performed by homosexuals?
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by Drifter on Nov 5, 2005, 4:59am
Yesterday I had a discussion with my parents (happily married for many years) and my sister about “why I don’t plan to get married” (I’m 28).
My parents were fine about it. I think my Dad didn’t realize just how bad divorce law had become, but once I mentioned the 76% divorce rate in California he admitted that getting married was probably a stupid thing to do. Since both my parents have worked in an office with other women, they have seen some examples of bad women.
My Dad told me about a woman who broke down in tears in his office – he immediately walked out of the office (he always has the door open if there is a woman) and went to HR (this particular woman had a history of sexual harassment accusations). He has been lucky to retire with any major incidents.
Anyway, my sister argued against me. She said that it was fine to get married if you “find the right person”. I pointed out that my history of girlfriends show that I don’t tend to find “nice” women, and that, under the current laws, a bad woman will hold all the cards.
My sister has a point though. I’ve basically decided to ignore all women, because I know that I can’t tell the difference between the good ones, and the bad ones faking niceness. And the law has made this a high stakes game. Oh, and I talked to them about who should pay for a date. My mum thinks that if a woman doesn’t go dutch then it should be a fatal red flag (my mum went dutch with my dad when they were dating).
Now all I have to do is explain the situation to my hairdresser… “You need to find a nice girl to marry”! Lol.
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Re: Comebacks to “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Post by trailblazer on Dec 19, 2005, 7:31am
This thread was linked from a current one, so this post bumped it:
Tying this with another thread, doesn’t the “Why aren’t you married yet question” deserve a more serious answer explaining the position of this board.
Most people who ask this belong to one of three mis-informed groups:
1. Older people who married at a time when it made sense
2. The religiously inclined, among whom it might still make sense for men to marry
3. Feminist women, who are all for WOMEN not marrying for reasons of independence, but consider it somehow below straight men
Groups 1 and 2 sometimes actually agree about how cultural pollution has turned marriage into a bad option, and are sympathetic to our beliefs. Group 3 needs to hear well-reasoned explanations and some of the smart ones might eventually get the idea, even if they think we’re just being selfish.
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