Don’t Marry

Why Modern, Western Marriage Has Become A Bad Business Decision For Men

How do you know if a woman really loves you?


How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Chris73 on Oct 9, 2005, 12:27pm

There’s probably no sure way to know. So I guess what I’m asking is what are the signs that you look for to get a reading on whether she loves you or not.

A friend is going through a rough time with his wife and she disclosed to him that she never really loved him and basically just settled for him. Not sure if she’s saying this out of revenge or if its the truth.

But my last few relationships have caused me to ponder this very basic question…does she love me ? is she just settling? Dating 30 something year olds has proven to be quite an experience. And has really caused me to question their motives.

——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Richie Rich on Oct 9, 2005, 2:38pm

…..You dont!!!

Unless she is your mother then there is some motive involved, especially with American Women!!!
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Snoopy on Oct 9, 2005, 4:01pm

A women gets desperate if by the time she’s 30, she hasn’t gotten married yet… if she marries anyone and has his kids, and then divorces him, then at least she has fulfilled her mission, love doesn’t really MATTER, money does. To test her ‘love’… tell her you have lost your job… see how fast she will dump you for some other man…
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Gallowglass on Oct 9, 2005, 4:06pm

Oct 9, 2005, 12:27pm, Chris73 wrote:How do you know if a woman really loves you?

See how much she’s prepared to sacrifice for you, and make a judgment call.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Chris73 on Oct 9, 2005, 4:10pm

Oct 9, 2005, 4:06pm, Gallowglass wrote:
Oct 9, 2005, 12:27pm, Chris73 wrote:How do you know if a woman really loves you?

See how much she’s prepared to sacrifice for you, and make a judgment call.

That’s not easy to see. How would you suggest going about it. The previous poster suggests telling her you lost your job. To me that’s akin to a man not staying with a woman because she has debt. Women might accuse us of not really loving them if we dumped them for that reason, so wouldn’t we have to accept that if we were dumped for being broke that we have been because of a similar standard?
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by snoopy on Oct 9, 2005, 4:21pm

But if she ‘really’ loved you, she would stick around until you found a new job… doubt it though.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Gallowglass on Oct 9, 2005, 4:57pm

Oct 9, 2005, 12:27pm, Chris73 wrote:That’s not easy to see. How would you suggest going about it.

I dunno, maybe a sliding scale of problems where you up the intensity gradually to see if she’s built to last. Like telling her you’re being forced to take a pay cut with a decent excuse, then a bit later telling her you got fired etc something along those lines. Or maybe telling you’re going for a real hot investment number, you know something like that.

Quote:Women might accuse us of not really loving them if we dumped them for that reason,

So what? When was the last time women in general gave a piss for what you thought? Not only does a man have more to lose, this situation you are in is entirely down to women’s unconditional support of man hating feminist dogma, it’s their own damn fault.

——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by thechief on Oct 9, 2005, 5:12pm

You really can’t be sure. More to the point, even if she does love you right now, there’s no guarantee she always will. Again, WOMEN CHANGE.

I firmly believe that my wife loved me while we dated and through perhaps the first half of our marriage. I also firmly believe she didn’t give two shits about me at the end.

If I ever remarry (unlikely, but I won’t pretend it’s impossible), I will look at it first and foremost as a business arrangement. I will have a clear list of what I expect from the marriage and will ask her to communicate the same. I will take legal steps to protect my financial assets during the marriage and will expect her to do the same. I’ll approach it from a perspective of enlightened self-interest and look for clearly defined mutual benefits.

If we also love each other, that’ll be just a nice side benefit…
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by sparky on Oct 9, 2005, 5:18pm

Oct 9, 2005, 2:38pm, Richie Rich wrote:…..You dont!!!

Unless she is your mother then there is some motive involved, especially with AW!!!

Don’t you worry,there is a motive involved with your mother too.Generally,women don’t do anything unless it benefits them.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by The Author on Oct 9, 2005, 6:20pm

Chief, do you date? How old are you?
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by thechief on Oct 9, 2005, 7:19pm

38 as of yesterday. And no, I don’t really date. Not even going to attempt it until I get into my own home and get a few more things straightened out with my son’s education/medical care.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by TyHigs on Oct 9, 2005, 8:05pm

Does it really matter? If you are not going to marry a woman in America, then whether or not she truly loves you is irrelevant. Just enjoy the time you have with her.

Guys still emotionally invest themselves with women? Gosh!
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Enigma on Oct 9, 2005, 8:44pm

Women love men as much as men love women. Just because a few guys got some bad ones doesn’t mean women in general don’t care. Gender has nothing to do with emotional attachment or need for control.

Gallowglass: Lying to a women to see if she sticks around is NOT a good way to see if she loves you. Sure if she loves you she’ll stay but what if she figures out you weren’t fired? It might be pretty obvious after a while. Why should someone stick around with someone who doesn’t even trust something as intimate as an I love you? Trust is necessary in a relationship. If you don’t trust her she’ll be able to tell and eventually it may become so emotionally tireing that she has to leave even if she does love you. Not to mention the first thing you said about seeing how much she’s prepared to sacrifice for you. Which sounds to me like an excuse for abusive let’s see what I can make her do to prove her love kinda thing.

Sparky: Yes, women do things that don’t benefit them, as much as men. What kind of women have you been hanging around with?

Thechief: Of course women change, everyone changes. That’s life. But if you both communicate and trust each other, you’ll change together.

Women are human too you know, with the same basic needs as men. There’s nothing inherently evil about them.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by HappilySingle on Oct 9, 2005, 8:57pm

Oct 9, 2005, 8:44pm, Enigma wrote:Women love men as much as men love women. Just because a few guys got some bad ones doesn’t mean women in general don’t care. Gender has nothing to do with emotional attachment or need for control.

Gallowglass: Lying to a women to see if she sticks around is NOT a good way to see if she loves you. Sure if she loves you she’ll stay but what if she figures out you weren’t fired? It might be pretty obvious after a while. Why should someone stick around with someone who doesn’t even trust something as intimate as an I love you? Trust is necessary in a relationship. If you don’t trust her she’ll be able to tell and eventually it may become so emotionally tiring that she has to leave even if she does love you. Not to mention the first thing you said about seeing how much she’s prepared to sacrifice for you. Which sounds to me like an excuse for abusive let’s see what I can make her do to prove her love kinda thing.

Sparky: Yes, women do things that don’t benefit them, as much as men. What kind of women have you been hanging around with?

Thechief: Of course women change, everyone changes. That’s life. But if you both communicate and trust each other, you’ll change together.

Women are human too you know, with the same basic needs as men. There’s nothing inherently evil about them.

What color is the sky in your world?
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Enigma on Oct 9, 2005, 9:13pm

Oct 9, 2005, 8:57pm, HappilySingle wrote:
Oct 9, 2005, 8:44pm, Enigma wrote:Women love men as much as men love women. Just because a few guys got some bad ones doesn’t mean women in general don’t care. Gender has nothing to do with emotional attachment or need for control.

Gallowglass: Lying to a women to see if she sticks around is NOT a good way to see if she loves you. Sure if she loves you she’ll stay but what if she figures out you weren’t fired? It might be pretty obvious after a while. Why should someone stick around with someone who doesn’t even trust something as intimate as an I love you? Trust is necessary in a relationship. If you don’t trust her she’ll be able to tell and eventually it may become so emotionally tireing that she has to leave even if she does love you.
Not to mention the first thing you said about seeing how much she’s prepared to sacrifice for you. Which sounds to me like an excuse for abuseive let’s see what I can make her do to prove her love kinda thing.

Sparky: Yes, women do things that don’t benefit them, as much as men. What kind of women have you been hanging around with?

Thechief: Of course women change, everyone changes. That’s life. But if you both communicate and trust each other, you’ll change together.

Women are human too you know, with the same basic needs as men. There’s nothing inherently evil about them.

What color is the sky in your world?

It’s called basic respect for another human being.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by HappilySingle on Oct 9, 2005, 9:18pm

Oct 9, 2005, 9:13pm, Enigma wrote:
Oct 9, 2005, 8:57pm, HappilySingle wrote:
What color is the sky in your world?

It’s called basic respect for another human being.

Rather than lecture us on respect, why don’t you go to one of the feminist sites and preach fairness and respect to them?
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by openeyes on Oct 9, 2005, 9:19pm

Response to the last few messages: This makes me think of the Hutu and Tutsi people of Rwanda: originally they got along fine and intermarried, then the legal system pitted them against each other, placing one above another (as feminism does with genders now) and genocide followed. Marriage law is doing the same thing to families now. Sure, we can say both men and women are human and have needs, but that doesn’t change what’s happening as a result of the legal system currently in place.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Enigma on Oct 9, 2005, 9:21pm

I actually came from a feminist site where some of your members were saying relatively respectful and logical things. I came here and was stuck by the female bashing and felt like someone had to stick up for my gender, and for trust in general. Terribly sorry.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Enigma on Oct 9, 2005, 9:24pm

Oct 9, 2005, 9:19pm, openeyes wrote:Response to the last few messages: This makes me think of the Hutu and Tutsi people of Rwanda: originally they got along fine and intermarried, then the legal system pitted them against each other, placing one above another (as feminism does with genders now) and genocide followed. Marriage law is doing the same thing to families now. Sure, we can say both men and women are human and have needs, but that doesn’t change what’s happening as a result of the legal system currently in place.

I know nothing about american legal systems. (I’m not even american) But the thing is I’m not debating that. I’m debating the fact that women are being blamed for so much here. You can’t defend an attack on a person based on the laws that favour them.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by HappilySingle on Oct 9, 2005, 9:29pm

Oct 9, 2005, 9:24pm, Enigma wrote:I know nothing about american legal systems. (I’m not even american) But the thing is I’m not debating that. I’m debating the fact that women are being blamed for so much here. You can’t defend an attack on a person based on the laws that favour them.

Of course you can defend such an attack, when those whom the law favors (in this case, women) use those laws to terrorize those the laws oppress (men).

If women didn’t abuse these laws, we wouldn’t be here. But as soon as a man says “I do” in most Western countries, he has effectively become an indentured servant to the woman, who can financially ruin him for life for any reason…or for no reason. This is what most of us here oppose, and why we are so vocal and passionate about expressing these facts.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by openeyes on Oct 9, 2005, 9:29pm

Though not every message goes into detail about all the causes, overall the view seems to be that women in western countries act a certain way because they CAN, since as feminism got off the ground it went beyond simple legal equality and moved things into a position of superiority in many ways. That few women make any effort to change that back to something more beneficial for everyone involved can make it seem the women are happy with the system, or in fact want it to go yet farther, leaving men to no longer see women as so very innocent.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by thechief on Oct 9, 2005, 9:38pm

Oct 9, 2005, 8:44pm, Enigma wrote:Thechief: Of course women change, everyone changes. That’s life. But if you both communicate and trust each other, you’ll change together.

There’s a great quote from Fred Reed: “A woman marries a man assuming he’ll change. He never does. A man marries a woman assuming she won’t change. She always does.”

No, Enigma, men don’t change. Not really, not in his core values, preferences and beliefs, not after a certain age. It’s both our strength and our weakness. The way a man is on the day you meet him is the way he’ll pretty much be on the day he dies.

Women, on the other hand, change all the time. At the drop of a hat and with no warning. As I’ve said before (and I would advise you to look through some of our archives), this wouldn’t be so bad if at least occasionally they changed in a way their husband likes. But that never happens. You never hear an old married guy say “Boy, my wife has really changed. She’s lost ten pounds, taken a gourmet cooking class, developed an interest in sports and her sex drive is through the roof!” Almost always the exact opposite, in fact…….
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by nastyrobot on Oct 9, 2005, 9:40pm

Enigma, what country are you from?
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Enigma on Oct 9, 2005, 10:05pm

Oct 9, 2005, 9:40pm, nastyrobot wrote:Enigma, what country are you from?

Canada, not horribly foreign.

Are you saying women always change for the worse? That’s just not true. Your examples aren’t very good either, weight gain is common in both men and women as they get older, the cooking class one often happens, the interest in sports probably won’t come out of nowhere either because of the competitive nature of it you usually like it or don’t, and sex drive goes down for both men and women as they age too (viagra for example). And women don’t change their core values, preferences and beliefs, not usually. I was speaking about a more emotional change not a change in values. Is a midlife crisis not a change in both men and women?

I will never marry a man with the intent to change him. I don’t know how much I will change once I settle into a life but I certainly will never change with the purpose of being a bitch to a man. I’d change to better myself. And can you blame a person for the change you say is natural?
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by CP on Oct 9, 2005, 10:54pm

How does one know?

When she says “I Love You” before asking to borrow money from you, so she can take the guy she’s actually banging out for his birthday, and then says “Thank You…I Love You”

That’s as much “true love” as any guy can expect.

——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by travis on Oct 9, 2005, 10:57pm

“not horribly foreign”

You’re from a westernized culture, like Australia. That’s horrible enough.

“I don’t know how much I will change once I settle into a life but I certainly will never change with the purpose of being a bitch to a man. I’d change to better myself. And can you blame a person for the change you say is natural?”

Blah blah blah, you say you won’t change, but that can change tomorrow. Westernized women have that potential to change into an evil parasite against their husbands. And since there’s a huge chance they won’t lose anything that can’t immediately be replaced after a divorce, what’s to stop them from changing?
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by sayonara on Oct 9, 2005, 11:07pm

Oct 9, 2005, 8:44pm, Enigma wrote:
Women are human too you know, with the same basic needs as men. There’s nothing inherently evil about them.

Sure there is. It’s a virus called Feminism. All American and Canadian women are infected with it. And once you’re infected with it, it’s impossible to be cured.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by nastyrobot on Oct 9, 2005, 11:49pm

(Not so much of an)Enigma, if you’re debating chief, please address your post to chief.
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by nastyrobot on Oct 9, 2005, 11:55pm

Quote:You’re from a westernized culture, like Australia. That’s horrible enough.

LOL Yeah she says “not terribly foreign” as if that weren’t painfully obvious. No enigma, I thought you were from Japan!
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by bgrove on Oct 10, 2005, 12:53pm

Oct 9, 2005, 8:57pm, HappilySingle wrote:
Oct 9, 2005, 8:44pm, Enigma wrote:Women are human too you know, with the same basic needs as men. There’s nothing inherently evil about them.

What color is the sky in your world?

God that was funny!
——————————————————————————–
Re: How do you know if a woman really loves you?
Post by Niall on Oct 10, 2005, 1:05pm

Hey Enigma,

This is an angry website. We’re angry. ‘Play nice and I might throw you a bone’ doesn’t play here.

If your not part of the solution which is campaigning to remove the anti-male hate laws from the statute books your part of the problem. No middle ground allowed.

Take your feminazi ass back to the socialist republic of Canada.
——————————————————————————–

Written by dontmarry

May 14, 2007 at 4:32 pm

Posted in dating, relationships

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 143 other followers

%d bloggers like this: