Don’t Marry

Why Modern, Western Marriage Has Become A Bad Business Decision For Men

6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother

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6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Older Bachelor on Dec 13, 2004, 7:40pm

Single mothers. Well, here are MY issues with them (This pertains to a woman who had a kid and never married, or divorced her husband because “She wasn’t happy”. If she had a good marriage and he died, there might be wiggle room, but I still wouldn’t date her).

1: She decided to have a kid without a husband. This demonstrates terrible, selfish values. It also shows that she thinks of men as sperm donors and child support payers, NOT husbands & fathers. What will happen if you knock her up? Get ready to pay up for a kid that you won’t get to be a real dad to.

2: In some states, you can be responsible for child support by just living with her. I don’t want to pay for kids that aren’t mine. Do you?

3: False allegations of child abuse. It isn’t likely, but I don’t want to take that chance. Getting branded with a big “M” on your forehead (For Molester) will WRECK YOUR LIFE. It will never go away. Too big a risk.

4: Relationship aren’t easy as it is. Add a minor child and it really complicates the issue. Do you want to deal with her kid(s) too? You won’t be their dad and they will know it. Their mom already fucked up their life by not having a dad for them, and is fucking it up more by bringing in “Revolving door boyfriends” into their life.

5: Lots of single moms have financial problems. You will be obligated to help pay for sitters, food, braces, on and on. For children that aren’t yours. Get the credit card out!

6: There is NO reason to date one. Millions of women in this country are single with no kids, and in every age range. Go younger if you have to. Don’t waste your time with a woman that has PROVEN that she doesn’t want a husband for her and dad for her kids. Do you think she will change her mind for you? That she will forget her utter contempt for husbands and fathers just for you? Sure she will.

I run into single mothers once in a while, and when “I have a kid” is revealed, that’s the end of the conversation for me. I will be polite but I will still walk off, because I don’t want anything to do with them. And neither will any other smart man.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by SoCalPolki101 on Dec 14, 2004, 11:45am

Hogwash! And rebuttal in defense of single mothers.

1: She decided to have a kid…

In other words she probably has her childbearing years behind her. Or at least doesn’t have a burning desire and need to start a family. UNLIKE the single no kids women out there who have their childbearing years AHEAD of them.

2: In some states… living with her…

Get your story straight buddy. Look at your subject. Date and living together are two different things.

3: False allegations of child abuse. Children in daycare years are asleep by 10PM. That’s when you come over with the DVD and wine and cheese.

Single mothers with older children usually have arrangements for having men over which do not include contact with children. Like sleepovers at their friends, relatives, etc.

You bug out at night because a woman with small children doesn’t want them to see you in the morning.

4: Relationship aren’t easy as it is.

Single mothers often want very casual come-on-over occassionaly relationships because their time is limited and schedule chaotic.

Single women have lots of free time on their hands. They have all kinds of recreational and emotional needs that need to be met.

5: Lots of single moms have financial problems.

Bullcrap. Single moms these days live high off the hog. They have jobs and they also get help from dummy who got married and got them pregnant.

And it never ceases to amaze how trailer trash can be so happy when you spend $10 at Trader Joes to buy some European delicacies for your late night come on over. $10 is what you’ll spend on tips and parking on your single no kids date.

6: There is NO reason to date one. Millions of women in this country are single with no kids,

That is exactly the reason to date one. Because single women don’t have kids and will probably want kids. Even if they say they don’t want kids right away, they can’t be trusted. Especially if they’re in their 30′s.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by OlderBachelor on Dec 14, 2004, 12:30pm

Well, if I was into Late-Night Bootie Calls with trailer-trash I would see your point, but those of us that actually have standards and want to date decent educated attractive women will not. So I stand by what I wrote.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Dec 14, 2004, 12:31pm

Quote:1: She decided to have a kid…

In other words she probably has her childbearing years behind her. Or at least doesn’t have a burning desire and need to start a family. UNLIKE the single no kids women out there who have their childbearing years AHEAD of them.

I disagree. A woman who is under 44, who has children, who is a single mother, has demonstrated that she is willing to be a single mother, and live without the father. She is willing to soak a man for CS. She has shown she will do it once. There is every reason to believe that she will do it again. If she has one absent father, and you are coming over at 10 pm, what is to say that YOU will not be absent father number 2 (or 3 or 4…) and some other guy will be doing her in 2 or 3 years, thinking exactly what you do?

Quote:2: In some states… living with her…

Get your story straight buddy. Look at your subject.
Date and living together are two different things.

Your knowledge of current paternity establishment law needs remediation. In some states, if you date a woman, and the children come to see you as their father, or emotional support, or come to depend upon you in any way, CS can then rule ‘in the best interests of the child’ and force you to pay support.

You do not need to live with them in some instances.

All it takes is for you to take them to Disneyland, buy them a Christmas present, and have them refer to you as ‘daddy’ once. You are now stuck. Congratulations.

Quote:3: False allegations of child abuse.

Children in daycare years are asleep by 10PM. That’s when you come over with the DVD and wine and cheese.

Can you prove that you never entered juniors room when you walked down the hall to take a leak? You’d have to be in mom’s view all the time.

A false allegation needs no proof. All she has to do is call CPS and accuse you and your life is ruined.

Who says the child needs to be awake to be molested?
Some children have been molested in their beds, kidnapped from them. Polly Klaas, for one.

This has no bearing on the reality – she just has to accuse you and your life is ruined.

Some things accused molesters deal with:

  • Chronic under employment or unemployment
  • Not being trusted near any children ever
  • Ruined reputation

Some things convicted molesters deal with:

  • Not being allowed to leave the country
  • Registering with the police
  • No one will hire them
  • Not being allowed to live near children, ever again

Not to mention the plesmographs and how one would be treated in prison, if one were to survive.

Quote:Single mothers with older children usually have arrangements for having men over which do not include contact with children. Like sleepovers at their friends, relatives, etc.

I have never know a single mother who did not want me to meet her children. No thank you.

Quote:You bug out at night because a woman with small children doesn’t want them to see you in the morning.

Which, again, does not address the issue of how you would prove your innocence if mommy accuses you of abuse. Did you account for you whereabouts for every second you were there? Did you use her bathroom? Go to the kitchen to get a drink? Then you could be in jimmy or susies room doing who knows what.

Quote:4: Relationship aren’t easy as it is.

Single mothers often want very casual come-on-over occasionally relationships because their time is limited an schedule chaotic.

Single women have lots of free time on their hands. They have all kinds of recreational and emotional needs that need to be met.

Why would I want to date a woman who will make me a low priority? I deserve better than a single mom who has limited time and a chaotic life. No thanks.

Quote:5: Lots of single moms have financial problems.

Bullcrap. Single moms these days live high off the hog. They have jobs and they also get help from dummy who got married and got them pregnant.

Demonstrating her willingness to use CPS and soak a man. She is showing you what she has done and will do again, if she gets pregnant. A man needs a vasectomy, at a minimum, to deal with this scenario.

Quote:6: There is NO reason to date one. Millions of women in this country are single with no kids

That is exactly the reason to date one. Because single women don’t have kids and will probably want kids. Even if they say they don’t want kids right away, they can’t be trusted. Especially if they’re in their 30′s.

Yet single women have no track record; single moms do.

Single moms have demonstrated, explicitly, what they will do if they get pregnant.

Do you want to risk finding out?
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by SoCalPolki101 on Dec 14, 2004, 12:56pm

Quote:those of us that actually have standards and want to date decent educated attractive women

You forgot to add post menopausal to your list of adjectives.

This whole issue is relative because there’s a window, 25-40, where women are on the hunt for fathers of their children. If you’re a guy under 30 or over 50 this does not affect you so much.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by SoCalPolki101 on Dec 14, 2004, 1:22pm

> There is every reason to believe that she will do it again.

Opinion and speculation. Empirical evidence convinces me otherwise. I do lots of single mothers. The vast majority have said enough, no more, thank you. Unlike single no kids women.

> I have never know a single mother who did not want me to meet her children.

I have never known a single mother who has.

Perhaps your whole approach to women is bass ackwards. You probably treat them to expensive dinner dates. And schmooze them with long get to know you relationships.

Men who spend alot of time and money on women are in my opinion naive. And as such you probably set yourself up to attracting a certain bad element of women that look for chumps to exploit and take advantage of. Ergo your attitude towards single mothers.

> how you would prove your innocence if mommy accuses you of abuse.

How would you prove your innocence if a single no kids woman accuses you of rape? If a woman is out to get you she doesn’t need kids to do it.

I personally do not meet the kids. AND I do intelligence work before I come over. I ask if she’s a full time or part time single mother. I ask about her arrangements. How she and I can have private time together without the kids. If I don’t feel an easy way in/out I don’t go in.

> Why would I want to date a woman who will make me a low priority? I deserve better than a single mom who has limited time and a chaotic life. No thanks.

I have kids part time and a chaotic life and schedule too. Other men might have their own hobbies and interests or money making ventures. I’m not imposing single mothers on anybody. I just do not like it when somebody gives them a bad rap, like you’re doing.

I get the impression you have lots of recreation and time and emotional needs you need another single person to meet. That’s fine. Don’t impose your situation on everybody.

> Yet single women have no track record; single moms do.
> Single moms haved demostrated, explicitly, what they will do if they get pregnant.

Listen to what you just wrote. You must be talking about abortion. Once she gets pregnant we know what will happen otherwise. Do you ask your single no kids women if they ever had abortions? Do they admit if they did?

The only thing that makes logical sense and I agree with in your post is that if you feel so strongly about avoiding kids, have a vasectomy. Problem solved.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by OlderBachelor on Dec 14, 2004, 5:33pm

I am 42. My target demographic is Single/Divorced Childless College-Educated females, hopefully with professional jobs. Since I live in a large city in California there are lots to choose from. And I did have a vasectomy 20 years ago so they aren’t getting kids from me. I just don’t mention it unless and until they want to get “serious”. It’s a great “Get out of Marriage” card.

Next Post: My polemic bashing online dating as a total waste of time and money! (If you are a straight man, that is. If you are gay it rocks)

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by OlderBachelor on Dec 14, 2004, 5:34pm

My target demographic is Single/Divorced Childless College-Educated females aged 30 to 38, that is.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Dec 14, 2004, 5:54pm

Quote:I have kids part time and a chaotic life and schedule too.

Thus your entire position is justifying your own life choices.

I am a single man without children, and I think you will find many confirmed bachelors share my view.

Quote:Other men might have their own hobbies and interests or money making ventures. I’m not imposing single mothers on anybody. I just do not like it when somebody gives them a bad rap, like you’re doing.

Of course you don’t like it, because your children spend some time with a single mom, it seems.

You can dislike it all you want. I will continue to disagree.

I don’t know any single man who wants to date single mothers.

Quote:I get the impression you have lots of recreation and time and emotional needs you need another single person to meet. That’s fine. Don’t impose your situation on everybody.

I have lots of free recreational time, as I am single and not a father. I am sorry you don’t have as much freedom or free time as I do. It seems your attitudes simply are a case of you justifying your own, what I consider to be, bad choices by giving single mothers slack.

I don’t think any men should marry or have children, and I write from that point of view.

If a man wants to make the choices you have made, I think he should read very carefully between the lines of your post to see what his life will be like.

I don’t like it, frankly, and I counsel appropriately.

> Yet single women have no track record; single moms do.
> Single moms have demonstrated, explicitly, what they will do if they get pregnant.

Quote:Listen to what you just wrote. You must be talking about abortion.

Not necessarily. I am referring to observation, analysis and basing conclusions upon what a person does.

Quote:Once she gets pregnant we know what will happen otherwise. Do you ask your single no kids women if they ever had abortions? Do they admit if they did?

This is an excellent question to ask any woman you date. If she hems or haws then dump her.

I have had a vasectomy, so I have taken rational permanent steps to avoid your kinds of situation.

Don’t assume many men share your desire for single fatherhood, a chaotic lifestyle and a lack of free time and freedom.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by The Author on Dec 14, 2004, 9:46pm

>In some states, if you date a woman, and the children come to see you as their father, or emotional support, or come to depend upon you in any way, CS can then rule ‘in the best interests of the child’ and force you to pay support.

WOW. This is news to me. That’s a MAJOR point that society and media sweep under the rug!
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Dec 14, 2004, 11:35pm

Quote:>In some states, if you date a woman, and the children come to see you as their father, or emotional support, or come to depend upon you in any way, CS can then rule ‘in the best interests of the child’ and force you to pay support.

WOW. This is news to me. That’s a MAJOR point that society and media sweep under the rug!

It doesn’t happen often, but the institutions and laws are in place for it to occur.

Usually, and I refer to Washington State Family Law AFAIK, this happens to live-in boyfriends of sometimes less than 7 months cohabitation. The Family Court looks at any behavior that would establish in the eyes/mind of a child that a man was acting as a Father Figure. If the court rules that the child has come to depend upon the man for emotional, financial or parental-type support, he is adjudged as liable for CS and possibly Alimony.

IOW if a man ‘does the right thing’ he gets eviscerated.

It is simply too dangerous to date single mothers with this legal and cultural climate.

Now if I had children, which makes me ‘safe’ to a single mother, as well as demonstrably father material, then I have much less to lose.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by SoCalPolki101 on Dec 15, 2004, 11:47am

The ones that are least affected or hurt whine the most.

If you have a vasectomy, why are you complaining?

Nobody is putting a gun to your head and telling you that you must date single mothers in Washington where these stupid laws exist. Those dumb laws you speak of hurt women more than they do men by the way.

I sleep in a single bed just in case some woman decides that she wants to cohabitate. “Sorry, you can’t stay, no room honey.”

As for your knocking my life, I’m 43 and I wouldn’t touch OlderBachelor’s group of 30-38 year old no kids women with a 10 foot pole. My first girlfriend this year was 26 and my last one I just finished with was 25. Women that age have alot more time, although even they have their measuring tape out, sizing you up for you know what. I am extremely paranoid and women 30-38 give me the willies. They’re out of time and desperate.

As for kids, I really enjoy mine. Also it makes the holidays nice. Thanksgiving, Xmas can be a lonely time for single no kids people. Not for me.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Dec 15, 2004, 2:47pm

“Those dumb laws you speak of hurt women more than they do men by the way.”

You are a feminist apologist.

You say things that women will agree with, in the hopes they will sleep with you. Selling out men to get laid. Horrific.

Go post on now.org or some such.

Laws hurt women more than men?

Who the heck pays when paternity is wrongly identified?

The man.

The name of the site is Don’t Marry.com with an article entitled ‘Why Marriage Has Become a Raw Deal for Men’.

What part of that do you not understand?

“My first girlfriend this year was 26 and my last one I just finished with was 25.”

Good for you. We have something in common. My first girlfriend this year was 25 and the second was 26.

Except I had the common sense to date ones without children.

This conversation is concluded.

Regards,
-Lee.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Dec 15, 2004, 3:18pm

Quote:The ones that are least affected or hurt whine the most.

This is precisely the kind of emotional, non-logical, manipulative tactic that a woman would use.

Quote:If you have a vastectomy, why are you complaining?

I want all young men to be totally aware of what is out there. I want them to avoid your fate, and the fate of people like my brother. He dated the wrong woman, and she got knocked up, lied to him, went psycho, and called CPS. All in one week. He will be paying her until he is 58. Game over.

I want young men to realize that the days of being able to trust a woman to not behave in a vicious, accusatory fashion are over. I want young men to realize that the current legal climate, which affects you, me, every man, encourages the kinds of abuses that I have listed in my previous posts.

That I have avoided such a fate does not mean I should not care, as you so ably suggested.

I actually give a hoot if other men make good choices.

I actually care that other men, whom I do not know, do not end up with CPS payments, a nagging ex-wife, and custody of their children 1 afternoon out of 14.

I care that other men do not date single mothers, due to the risks that have been listed in this thread.

I even care that you don’t seem to think you are taking much of a risk by dating 25 year old single moms, when it looks to me like you are playing Russian Roulette with 6 bullets.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by SoCalPolki101 on Dec 15, 2004, 5:26pm

Relax man. I didn’t invent feminism. I’m just taking full advantage of it.

I may not have been clear in terms of my quickly written remark about hurting women more. With the laws women got a short term gain and a long term loss in my opinion.

The current generation of women is benefiting from the laws. The next is hurting. I have met alot of women 35-40 who would love to have kids and start a family but cannot find a willing man.

I agree with you about the essence of dontworry.com
I just take it a step further. I consider the effect these actions will have on women. And I feel in the long run they are much worse off with these laws than we are.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by SoCalPolki101 on Dec 15, 2004, 5:30pm

As for single mothers vs single no kids women. It would be interesting to find out, from an anonymous survey, how many of the single never had kids women want to start a family and compare that against single mothers who, polled anonymously or by other women, would say they want more kids.

Obviously this seems to be a controversial issue.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by I disagree on Dec 15, 2004, 7:43pm

>I have met alot of women 35-40 who would love to have kids and start a family but cannot find a willing man.

The single 35-40 are single, unmarried, and childless for a reason. There are tons of desperate (and willing) 35-45 year old men who can’t find even a date. However, the “catch” men don’t need to settle for expired eggs. 35-40 year old women can EASILY find millions of willing men, just they’re just not going to have the looks, height, and salary these women want.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by SoCalPolki101 on Dec 16, 2004, 11:36am

Is this a woman’s opinion, speaking from experience? Or a man’s perception?
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by I disagree on Dec 16, 2004, 4:04pm

Man. I also admit that many of these 35-40 year old women may be fat, ugly, bad careers, etc. I guess both age genders tend to hit “bottom of the barrel” in those 35-45 year ranges, as mating is THE original application of Natural Selection. Yes, I rephrase my posting to say, “35-45 is where both gender’s leftovers end up having trouble dating”

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by LOGIC 101 on Dec 16, 2004, 4:36pm

Quote:
The current generation of women is benefiting from the laws. The next is hurting. I have met alot of women 35-40 who would love to have kids and start a family but cannot find a willing man.

You are correct. Most men in that same age group (if they are looking for a wife) are going for either much younger or possibly a good foreign woman. Thank God men in this country still have some free will.

-Logic 101
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Knight40 on Dec 17, 2004, 5:54pm

I have also dated mothers with children in the past.

I would not get involved with that situation for all the reasons Lee has listed, and more.

Many decent men and I agree on this, as it bears out according to their experience.

It is a tricky situation at best, and not worth the gamble in this day and age.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by realman on Jan 4, 2005, 1:27pm

actually I disagree with you saying all single women will do this cause that is untrue it depends on the why they boyfriend left. he could of been a runner who ran once he found out he got her pregnant and guys like this are scum. 2 he could of been abusive and she might of left him for that reason. and women nowadays can make just as much money as us guys nowadays so they dont always need a man to support there kids.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Jan 4, 2005, 5:41pm

Quote:actualy I disagree with you saying all single women will do this cause that is untrue it depends on the why they boyfriend left. he could of been a runner who ran once he found out he got her pregnant and guys like this are scum. 2 he could of been abusive and she might of left him for that reason. and women now adays can make just as much money as us guys nowadays so they dont always need a man to suport there kids.

Please re-read the original post, and quote me where they used the words ‘all single women’.

“he could of been a runner who ran once he found out he got her pregnant and guys like this are scum.”

80% of divorces are initiated by the woman. It is clear that most divorced women who are single mothers do so by their own choice. If the woman was not married, then she chose poorly by not getting married, and she she chose poorly by getting impregnated by her boyfriend, and she chose poorly when she picked an abusive thuggish man to sire her child.

Women are complicit and accountable for their bad choices. In the US all women have the right to abortion. If the father is unfit, it is up to the mother to abort; the father has no say. This is totally 100% the mothers responsibility if she bears the child of a thug.

“and women now adays can make just as much money as us guys nowadays so they dont always need a man to suport there kids”

The Law does not care. The Law will force a man to pay even if she earns as much or more than him. On paper women are independent, but they still dun men for CPS, Alimony and other financial support after the split. This is unacceptable when women claim to be independent and want to be treated like men in the workplace. If women were independent, then they would never take nor need a mans money after the split, as they earn their own money.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Single mom on Jan 10, 2005, 10:58am

Ridiculous!!! Having a child does not make you a bad person or not date worthy. I am a single mom, I have a beautiful child, and I was not selfish for having him. Just because I chose not to marry the guy who knocked me up does not make me selfish. Men can be abusive. Think of the divorce rate these days? Even if a person gets married the father may not stick around anyway, so don’t use that as the basis of her characteristics.

Also, I don’t expect a man to take care over my child, I take care of that just fine on my own, I prefer it that way. Single mothers work twice as hard as other people and deserve a chance in relationships with men. If that women is into you enough to take the time to talk to you or to date you, you should feel special.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Niall on Jan 10, 2005, 4:18pm

Broken relationship, broken kids. Go read the statistics for the percentage of jailbirds from broken homes.

You got knocked up (too dumb to use contraception?) and then dumped the father leaving your child without a male role model.

Bet your proud…
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by OlderBachelor on Jan 10, 2005, 4:59pm

Why are you out trying to date? Stay home and raise your kid. He needs you at home more than you need to be out dating. Didn’t the feminist movement teach you you don’t need a man to he happy?
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 10, 2005, 7:28pm

Thou protest too much, Single Mom.

Why the misandry? Men are abusive? You offer no logical argument against what has been written here in this thread, other than your feelings. And frankly, your’s is an attitude that I avoid at any cost.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Jan 11, 2005, 3:19am

Quote:Ridiculous!!! Having a child does not make you a bad person or not date worthy.

Yes it does. It is an indication of the kinds of decisions you make. And by what you have posted, you make bad decisions.

Quote:I am a single mom, I have a beautiful child…

Everyone thinks their child is beautiful. You are neither special nor unique in this regard.

Quote:…and I was not selfish for having him. Just because I chose not to marry the guy who knocked me up does not make me selfish.

Yes it does. You should have chosen your sex partners more carefully. Raising a son without a father is tantamount to child abuse. This will scar him for life. Boys need fathers to teach them how to be men, and you cannot do this as you are a woman.

Quote:Men can be abusive.

If you chose to sleep with an abusive man, it is your responsibility. if you chose to have unprotected sex with an abusive man, it is your responsibility. If you chose to not use the 14 different methods of birth control that women have access to, it is your responsibility. You could have acted at multiple junctures to not be a single mother, yet you did not.

Quote:Single mothers work twice as hard as other people and deserve a chance in relationships with men. If that women is into you enough to take the time to talk to you or to date you, you should feel special.

By willingly choosing to be a single mother you demonstrate that you make bad choices, and many men simply do not want to date someone who choses so poorly.

You have made a mistake, your son deserves a father, and it is not the duty of any man you want to date to pick up the slack and be a fill in Dad. You son has a Dad, you chose who that person would be, and you (apparently) chose someone who is lacking in character.

You need to accept the consequences of your actions, and the consequences of being a single mother are as follows:

-Your son will have trouble as you cannot rear him to be a Man.
-You will have a very difficult time getting dates.
-Few men will want to care for another man’s cast-off progeny.
-You will be economically disadvantaged.

To think, all of this could have been avoided if you had made better choices.

Good Luck!
-Lee.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Single mom guest on Jan 13, 2005, 11:26pm

Six reasons a single mother would not want to date YOU.

1) Narrow shallow minds don’t impress independent women. It’s obvious, our independence intimidates you.

2) You already have a mommy, we aren’t looking to adopt grown ups.

3) Visions of someone stealing your money and child molestation ………….GIANT RED FLAG!

4)Same Giant red flag is a GIANT clue as to the substance of the relationships in your life…..yes, get the hint…..relationships with someone you are NOT romantically involved in.

5) People who have to talk trash about people they know nothing about, generally use that as the only means they have to build self esteem.

6)Be thankful you have two hands. You’re gonna need them!

Proud Single Mom

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Niall on Jan 14, 2005, 7:15am

Ho Hum here we go,

1. ‘independant women’. Translation feminazi bitch.

2. Mommy. Er… no don’t get that one.

3. ‘Child molestation’. Er… were did that come from. A poster said that YOU are abusing your child by not providing a male role model which is true. GIANT RED FLAG, hysterical emotional outburst which means nothing.

4. Descending in to total hysterical nonsense now.

5. We point out that you are a selfish bitch too dumb to use contraception and now hawking yourself around on the dating market whilst your son sits at home and… its because we have self esteem issues. Now moving to the totally bizarre.

6. We are all wankers (literally) who can’t get a date.

YAWN!

Standard hysterical female self-justification for poor decision making. I was just surprised she didn’t say we must all have small penises…

Be proud Single Mum whilst you wallow in your crappy life.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Niall on Jan 14, 2005, 7:18am

With regard to the filters I think:

bitch = female dog

not pregnant dog as bitch is just the feminine form of dog it does have to be pregnant
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Single Mom Guest on Jan 14, 2005, 12:12pm

Niall,
You sound awfully angry towards women. Which is your right. However, is it really necessary to prejudge someone you don’t know. Based on some of the stats I’ve seen here, the general consensus of this board is clearly a small minority.

The OP mentioned molestation………..I’ve never seen any child support laws where a man has to support a child he did not bare. Unless he chooses to legally adopt that child or signs a VAP without a DNA test.

My son is 27 months old, so no he’s not sitting home alone. NFP worked for me for 17 yrs. I don’t believe in abortion. (However, I think it should remain legal. It’s not a choice for me.) Nor do I believe in hormonal BC. It wasn’t until after I had my son, I found out it is an abortificant. I know ds is my ONLY pregnancy.

I’m not dating. Don’t have the time, nor do I have an interest.

I have a few life long male friends. Platonic. My father is actively involved in my son’s life. My son does not lack positive male influence. He’ll be attending private (catholic) school and I already have the means to pay for his college education.

I’m not angry or bitter, although it took some time to get there. I don’t believe all men are jerks. I don’t consider myself a radical feminist. I can’t stand NOW. I think they are about as useful as the ACLU. I’m confident in myself. I don’t care about a few wrinkles or a few extra pounds. We all get old, we all age, it’s part of life. I don’t care about toys or being rich. Sure it’s nice to have the means to do the things you enjoy.

It’s more about self acceptance and doing the things one enjoys.

I enjoy being a mother. I’m looking forward to the many wonderful experiences motherhood provides. I’m ecstatic I have a boy. My son is my greatest blessing.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 15, 2005, 4:21pm

Oh but Single Mom, you have revealed your true self:

Quote:I’ve never seen any child support laws where a man has to support a child he did not bare. Unless he chooses to legally adopt that child or signs a VAP without a DNA test.

Washington State comes to mind. Courts routinely rule the man must pay child support for children “he did not bare”. The burden of proof is upon the man to show the child is not his when the woman makes an assertion, and the window of opportunity is very limited.

Quote:I have a few life long male friends. Platonic. My father is actively involved in my son’s life. My son does not lack positive male influence.

You willfully deprived your son of a father, and a two-parent family home. You enjoy a relationship with your father, why is your son not entitled to the same? How is your son to learn how to relate to his son in the absence of a father-son relationship.

Quote:I don’t consider myself a radical feminist.

But you do consider yourself a feminist, and you are only debating the extent. Talk is cheap, and your prior behaviors have indicated otherwise. Such as being against abortion for yourself yet defending it as a women’s right. Your prior comments show a contempt for men, and a lack of personal responsibility (getting “knocked up”), but you assert “self-acceptance” for creating a real mess for your son. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and poops like a duck, it may not be a radical duck – but it is a duck just the same.

Quote:I enjoy being a mother. I’m looking forward to the many wonderful experiences motherhood provides. I’m ecstatic I have a boy. My son is my greatest blessing.

But the circumstances you have created for your son’s life are not his greatest blessing. Women can raise boys, but women cannot raise men. I am not as ecstatic that you have your boy because he faces many more challenges due to the circumstances you have willfully created.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by single mom guest on Jan 16, 2005, 6:50pm

My son’s father chose not to be a part of his life.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 16, 2005, 7:30pm

Silly thing, you said differently before:

Quote:Just because I chose not to marry the guy who knocked me up does not make me selfish.

Can’t have it both ways. Any chance you made it very difficult for your son’s father to be in his life?

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by single mom guest on Jan 16, 2005, 8:41pm

Quote:Silly thing, you said differently before:

Can’t have it both ways. Any chance you made it very difficult for your son’s father to be in his life?

Your quote was from another poster.

I tried setting up visitation for about a year. He wasn’t interested.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 16, 2005, 9:30pm

OK, you got me. All you Single Moms look alike to me. Perhaps you could be a little more unique in your name to avoid the confusion, unless you intended the confusion.

Let’s bring this full circle, I don’t date Single Moms because of all the entanglements associated with your exact circumstances.

First, you have done well to demonstrate the attitude of the typical single woman with a child; martyr for the cause, can do it all, bad men in your past but you are righteous in your behavior now by some epiphany of self-acceptance.

Second, your son’s father could have a change of heart and all the circumstances I initially accepted to date you change in an instant. Holidays are spent shuttling the kid to and from, uncomfortable family matters, disputes ending in courtroom drama.

Thirdly, if your parents are so involved, then they are going to be a factor – split loyalties – that influence the relationships environment and makes for some nasty fights.

Fourth, and not directed at your son per se, the charming little rug rat could become a real monster later – the most dangerous animal on the face of the earth is the teenage human male.

So maybe a name that rhymes with itch.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by cub fan single mom on Jan 16, 2005, 11:13pm

OK, you got me. All you Single Moms look alike to me. Perhaps you could be a little more unique in your name to avoid the confusion, unless you intended the confusion.

—Done, no confusion intended.

Let’s bring this full circle, I don’t date Single Moms because of all the entanglements associated with your exact circumstances.

First, you have done well to demonstrate the attitude of the typical single woman with a child; martyr for the cause, can do it all, bad men in your past but you are righteous in your behavior now by some epiphany of self-acceptance.

—–If that’s a dig that it hurts my son walked out on him, yes it hurts. I have no control over that.

Second, your son’s father could have a change of heart

—sure it could, however it’s unlikely.

and all the circumstances I initially accepted to date you change in an instant.

—–that could happen under a variety of circumstances. People change, relationships change.

Holidays are spent shuttling the kid to and from, uncomfortable family matters, disputes ending in courtroom drama.

—–Oh lord, everything ends with a Jerry Springer ring to it. Good thing you don’t plan on marrying. If you are that inflexible you should not marry.

Thirdly, if your parents are so involved, then they are going to be a factor – split loyalties – that influence the relationships’s environment and makes for some nasty fights.

—-My parents divorced when I was 10. Lived 3 blocks apart from each other and 28 years later remain great friends. They and their spouses all get along. Yes, there are people who are capable of putting the emotional adult stuff aside.

Fourth, and not directed at your son per se, the charming little rugrat could become a real monster later – the most dangerous animal on the face of the earth is the teenage human male.

—-As can a child from any family. Oh, and two year olds, aren’t always exactly charming.

So maybe a name that rhymes with itch. Like Hitched?

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 17, 2005, 12:45am

My hat is off to your honesty. Good luck with those Cubby’s, and getting Hitched.

Thank you also for understanding that I do not (and would not) attack your son. I only hope for the best in his future, and sending him to a Catholic School is a good choice.

It is likely that your son’s father will have a change of heart, perhaps to prove to his next woman that he is a good Dad. That you respond with “people change” is where we differ.

You wish to invoke inflexibility over huge changes, that my marriage is doomed for my rigid stance, when the predictability of the circumstances are apparent. What will your son make of our children when they are living with their parents and he must visit his dad on weekends.

Do you introduce yourself as ineligible for dating because the man you had a child with is not responsible? What is the difference between the old bait-and-switch and your Jerry Springer model.

I have so much money that it is worth my being careful, because certain circumstances would clean my clock. In California it is the three magic words “he pushed me”.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Why bother on Jan 18, 2005, 12:44am

“…Ridiculous!!! Having a child does not make you a bad person or not date worthy. I am a single mom, I have a beautiful child, and I was not selfish for having him. Just because I chose not to marry the guy who knocked me up does not make me selfish. Men can be abusive. Think of the divorce rate these days? Even if a person gets married the father may not stick around anyway, so don’t use that as the basis of her characteristics. …”

This is from your perspective, honey. I would never ever ever ever ever date a single woman with kids again, unless I have kids of my own. Why should I bother with all the hassles of possibly raising some other person’s kids financially, with the end result is your possibly little brat saying, “you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my Dad….and YOU backing him up.” I went on a couple of dates with women with kids, and it was clear to me that their kid’s father, often a bum, was always in their hearts, and the closest I could be was in their wallets. THE RISK/REWARD RATIO IS SIMPLY NOT WORTH IT!

“Also, I don’t expect a man to take care over my child, I take care of that just fine on my own, I prefer it that way. Single mothers work twice as hard as other people and deserve a chance in relationships with men. If that women is into you enough to take the time to talk to you or to date you, you should feel special.”

Oh, thanks so much, for “talking to me”. As for taking care of your child, that is precisely the point. If we were eventually to get married (we wouldn’t), you would still have that attitude vis-a-vis the child, but hardly so towards the finances. I’ll pass, thank you very much.
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There are better options….
Post by LOGIC 101 on Jan 18, 2005, 10:54pm

Quote:”…Ridiculous!!! Having a child does not make you a bad person or not date worthy. I am a single mom, I have a beautiful child, and I was not selfish for having him. Just because I chose not to marry the guy who knocked me up does not make me selfish. Men can be abusive. Think of the divorce rate these days? Even if a person gets married the father may not stick around anyway, so don’t use that as the basis of her characteristics.

I would never say you’re a bad person. All I’m saying is single men should know they have better options in life.

-Logic 101
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by me on Jan 21, 2005, 2:08pm

“Take the time to talk to you”…unbelievable, simply UNBELIEVABLE! The princess, holier than though mentality among AW is just unreal.

The only woman who might have a right to such an attitude is a super hot like 10 of a woman. The average (by definition the majority), below average, the fat, the ones with kids…they have no reason to think this way! They are truly deluded.

Yes I am so lucky to even talk with you. Yes you are so wonderful woman with girl thingy and I am just humble little man so fortunate to be graced by your presence.

How about you f*ck off, and how about I get my jollies when I need them with safe prostitutes and only very occasionally. And how about when I’m good and ready, financially wealthy, and ready to have a child I do it with a nice traditional foreign woman who will love my child and raise it the right way. And how about you go to hell.

I guess I just didn’t appreciate the fact that you were talking to me, poor stupid silly me.

Remember, f*ck off.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Willie Molson on Jan 21, 2005, 2:25pm

Here’s what I don’t get about white males. They have configured a society with females having a sense of innate entitlement, and now they are crying foul because these women now have the upper hand. Now they want to go to Latin America or Asia and befoul the women there because they don’t like what they’ve wrought. Pretty hypocritical. In general, I don’t have a problem with American White Females. They tend to have better hygiene than European females, and they tend to be better balanced and more thoughtful than Asian or Latin females. There are no easy answers here. Just be yourself. In my opinion, there are plenty of American women out there, high quality women, who would be glad to form a mutually caring relationship with you or many other American men.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 21, 2005, 3:17pm

Quote:Here’s what I don’t get about white males.

It’s whitey’s fault, huh. Feminism isn’t a part of it. And we white boys befoul foreign women? I’m glad you get along with American Women, they deserve you.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Willie Molson on Jan 21, 2005, 5:46pm

This response is for Simpson. Yes, it’s “whitey’s”(Your terminology, not mine) fault. This is a culture predicated on greed, avarice, selfishness, and intolerance, to a degree. White males have set the tone and direction of the society. That’s pretty much irrefutable. If they don’t like the resultant female traits which have evolved, they should look in the mirror and collectively decide to formulate a more tolerant, less materialistic, and more collaborative societal paradigm. They shouldn’t be going to cultures such as Asia, where, historically, the collective was more important than the individual. It’s this ethos which has spawned the women these men allegedly find so desirable. If you aren’t capable of adaptability, then, yes, I deserve American women. I deserve women who are varied, interesting, evolving, and multifaceted. Have fun with your right hand Simpson(Or, are you left handed?).
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 21, 2005, 6:45pm

Quote:If they don’t like the resultant female traits which have evolved, they should look in the mirror and collectively decide to formulate a more tolerant, less materialistic, and more collaborative societal paradigm.

So what your saying is that feminism is a construct of white males in this country. That we white males have created the circumstances for the rapid decline of american culture? You are giving us white folk a lot of power – are you sure you want to do that?

When we all got together last time, we were so busy trying on bedsheets and burning crosses that we forgot to create a more collaborative societal paradigm. But I’ll call up a few of the good old boys and we’ll see what we can do for you.

And sex is so overrated, Willie, but if you were a real man you would know that.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Guest on Jan 21, 2005, 10:23pm

As a black man, Willie, you don’t know shit.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Jan 22, 2005, 2:54am

Quote:This response is for Simpson. Yes, it’s “whitey’s”(Your terminology, not mine) fault. This is a culture predicated on greed, avarice, selfishness, and interolance, to a degree. White males have set the tone and direction of the society. That’s pretty much irrefutable. If they don’t like the resultant female traits which have evolved, they should look in the mirror and collectively decide to formulate a more tolerant, less materialistic, and more collaborative societal paradigm. They shouldn’t be going to cultures such as Asia, where, historically, the collective was more important than the indivdual. It’s this ethos which has spawned the women these men allegedly find so desirable. If you aren’t capable of adaptability, then, yes, I deserve American women. I deserve women who are varied, interesting, evolving, and multifaceted. Have fun with your right hand Simpson(Or, are you left handed?).

You make the same mistake Feminists do. Feminists gained great strides by grouping all men together, when in fact the 4% at the top have always made the rules and benefited from them. To assume that I have anything in common with Bill Gates because we are both men is insane. I do not benefit from his stature in any way, and he has far more power than I. White, Powerful Males have constructed this society, and regular, average white men have very little in common with those men. We do not benefit from their wealth and power.

In the same vein, to assume that I have anything in common with the Caucasian men who passed pro-feminists laws is also madness. They were not looking out for me just because I am white and a man.

I don’t know where this insane idea came from that all white men hang together, look out for each other, and secretly promote one another. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most men have one or two close friends, and certainly not a network of powerful buddies to call into play if we want to pull strings. We are largely on our own. Other men don’t look out for me at work, don’t promote me because I am white and male, and don’t let me in on things because of my sex and race. It simply isn’t true.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Willie Molson on Jan 22, 2005, 11:20am

This is for Guest. I know enough to see a whiner. As a black man who has successfully negotiated a society in which numerous obstacles have been put in my path for no other reason than a meaningless aggregation of melanin, I know enough to see over generalizations by a group of men who refuse to take responsibility for their own situations. Grow up.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Willie Molson on Jan 22, 2005, 11:28am

All white men may not hang together, but they are largely responsible for the social divisiveness which exists in American society today. Let’s look at the most recent presidential election. Bush undeniably wants to keep the top 1% of income people in this society fat and happy. Who was his largest, most loyal voting block? White males. And this voting block doesn’t seem to realize that giving people like Cheney more avenues to hoard more of the society’s resources doesn’t benefit them in East Appalachia or some other poor region. I am not, by any means castigating all white males. What I am saying is that the social Darwinistic, avaricious paradigm we are now a part of had a largely Euro-American genesis, and that we must all be responsible for incorporating a more collaborative ethos societally. This will have a more profound effect on improving male/female relations than anything else.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 22, 2005, 1:00pm

So Willie, saying the same thing over and over again does not make it true. You offer nothing other than your opinion. Where is your proof?

I could care less about your political views – this is a forum about not getting married, and this is a thread about not dating single mothers. Do you have anything to add? Oh wait . . .

Quote:What I am saying is that the social Darwinistic, avaricious paradigm we are now a part of had a largely Euro-American genesis, and that we must all be responsible for incorporating a more collaborative ethos societally.

What does that mean? Really; put the big words away and please tell me in plain Eastern Appalachian English what the hell that means.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by me on Jan 22, 2005, 5:04pm

Willie is just repeating what some commie college professor told him. What he means is that everything is whitey’s fault and, in the words of Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?.”

Of course, it is whitey that has to bend over backwards three four five times and take it in the *ss so we can all get along. And its not rich whitey who has to take it — he never takes it — its the working and middle class guy. All while so-called minorities, especially that poor oppressed minority the white woman, makes out like a bandit.

BTW: I’m not white.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Jan 22, 2005, 7:42pm

Quote:All white men may not hang together, but they are largely responsible for the social divisiveness which exists in American society today. Let’s look at the most recent presidential election. Bush undeniably wants to keep the top 1% of income people in this society fat and happy. Who was his largest, most loyal voting block? White males. And this voting block doesn’t seem to realize that giving people like Cheney more avenues to hoard more of the society’s resources doesn’t benefit them in East Appalachia or some other poor region. I am not, by any means castigating all white males. What I am saying is that the social Darwinistic, avaricious paradigm we are now a part of had a largely Euro-American genesis, and that we must all be responsible for incorporating a more collaborative ethos societally. This will have a more profound effect on improving male/female relations than anything else.

Reads like Socialism to me.

“This avaricious paradigm is largely a Euro-American genesis”…?

Mesopotamian merchants (Iraqi’s…) INVENTED business, trade and haggling thousands of years before anyone in Europe rose above tribal warfare. We are referring to 7,000 bc to 3,000 bc. Business ethos is an Asian invention.

You seem to be regurgitating what your professors fed you in College. That is unfortunate, for you have made a mistake common to many recent college graduates.

You have mistaken the indoctrination you received at the hands of your professors for an education.

I must say I am amused. That anyone can consider Socialism viable after the events of 1989 is quite amusing.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Jan 22, 2005, 7:53pm

Quote:This is for Guest. I know enough to see a whiner. As a black man who has successfully negotiated a society in which numerous obstacles have been put in my path for no other reason than a meaningless aggregation of melanin, I know enough to see overgeneralizations by a group of men who refuse to take responsibility for their own situations. Grow up.

I didn’t want Feminism, and I was 2 when ‘The Feminine Mystique’ was published. I had no say in Hollywood becoming a pro-feminist industry, or the New York Publishing Industry taking Steinham to heart, or the funding for VAWA I passing. I have no control over family court judges, and I had no say in the bevy of family law policies that have been put in place over the past 15 years.

Read this 1,000 times. Perhaps you will get it:

That a group of persons did something in the past does not mean that those who share those same characteristics in the present are responsible for their actions.

Mostly white men passed pro-feminist laws. Agreed.

Your thesis fails when you assign their responsibility to me just because I share their race and gender.

This is untrue.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Willie Molson on Jan 22, 2005, 10:18pm

Not you as a person, but the aggregate of white males as a class. Look, I agree the laws are skewed way too far on the side of women. As Warren Farrell said in “The Myth of Male Power”, women have rights. Men have obligations. I also really like the Author’s document. That’s what drew me to this forum in the first place. However, I am amazed that the white males on this board don’t appreciate how they have “as a collective” contributed to women’s, especially white women’s, sense of entitlement. While you may not have anything to do with the feminazi laws that have been passed directly, white males have supported politicians and institutions which have contributed to their own degradation and discontent. Until they own up to this, their only recourse will remain rants like you have on this thread, and loneliness.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Jan 22, 2005, 11:01pm

Say, Willieboy. Exactly how do you know what color I am, or any other person on this board. Do the non-white members on this board have no right or purpose in correcting the situation? Is everything an issue of color?

What if you’re wrong. What if it was not the white males who gave away the store. What if the feminist stormed the place and took advantage of the civil rights movement that whitey was trying to bestow upon the black man so he could successfully negotiate the numerous obstacles put in his path by society.

I, for one, don’t accept responsibility for feminism because of a meaningless lack of melanin.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by LOGIC 101 on Jan 23, 2005, 1:12am

Quote:Until they own up to this, their only recourse will remain rants like you have on this thread, and loneliness.

Only half-truths Willie…. And all men have options and choices in life… Now, whether they do anything about it is a different story… Men however do not have to settle for an American or western woman. There are plenty of other women out there.

-Logic 101

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Lee on Jan 24, 2005, 12:05am

Quote:Not you as a person, but the aggregate of white males as a class. Look, I agree the laws are skewed way too far on the side of women. As Warren Farrell said in “The Myth of Male Power”, women have rights. Men have obligations. I also really like the Author’s document. That’s what drew me to this forum in the first place. However, I am amazed that the white males on this board don’t appreciate how they have “as a collective” contributed to women’s, especially white women’s, sense of entitlement. While you may not have anything to do with the feminazi laws that have been passed directly, white males have supported politicians and institutions which have contributed to their own degradation and discontent. Until they own up to this, their only recourse will remain rants like you have on this thread, and loneliness.

You did it AGAIN.

White men do not act as a collective, or as a group.

We are all individuals. I am not responsible for the actions of white politicians just because I am a white man. Your thesis is flawed. You want me to own up to my contribution to politicians and institutions which contributed to my degradation and discontent, based solely upon the fact that I am white and a man, when people of all races, sexes and creeds also voted for these same politicos.

You are just as responsible as I am.

Everyone in this country is responsible for the Feminist mess we are in. Not just white men.

I am not responsible for the actions of others, and I am especially not responsible for the actions of men who share my ethnicity.

You are grouping all white men together just like those who group the behavior of all blacks, Latinos and Mexicans together.

There is a word for this. I will let you figure it out.

I agree that as men, we have more in common that transcends race, class, income, creed and background. We all have the onus of Feminism to fight.

We should focus on this, rather than placing blame. Blaming a whole class of individuals for the actions of a few is not productive, nor rational, nor true.

You thesis is simply incorrect.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by smarterthanaverage1 on Jan 24, 2005, 4:18pm

Interesting reading.

Willie, in reading your posts and logic, you use sophistry a lot. I would agree with Lee’s opinions as well. Your constructs and paradigms are fatally flawed and incongruent at best. I can unequivocally without waver, todder or vasilation guarantee that I for one NEVER had anything to do with the current or past issues/legislation related to woman’s rights in this country. I am doing what I can do to change the situation as best I can.

I love how you covertly and subterfugeiously play the race card sub-rosa ! just classic….

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Willie Molson on Feb 3, 2005, 10:27am

None of the critiques I’ve read on this board come close to negating anything I’ve asserted in my posts. In fact, the very fact that some of you laud “foreign” women, largely in nonwhite cultures where the men could see the traps laid out for men in the future indicates that what you have are white males who don’t want to own up to how they have constructed a feminazi oriented society. Yes, white women have manipulated the civil rights movement to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes, but it was white male politicians who, in their short-sightedness and desire to encompass white women in an attempt to address genuine historical grievances, allowed the principles behind the movement to be perverted. It’s not me whose using sophistry or communistic logic to rationalize why white females are sticking it up everyone’s derrière. It’s white males, especially the stupidly protective Southern white males, largely responsible for the male/female mess we have today.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Feb 3, 2005, 1:23pm

Quote:It’s white males, especially the stupidly protective Southern white males, largely responsible for the male/female mess we have today.

So it was Clinton’s fault?

According to you, white women created feminism, white men let them, white politicians codified it, white courts enforced it, and white folks won’t fix it. When whites provide logical arguments to refute your ideas, you just deny their validity. How is all your racist thinking working for you in life, Willie?

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by khankrumthebulgar on Mar 29, 2005, 5:57pm

Last week I went to an upscale Watering Hole otherwise known as a “Meat Market” in Irving Las Colinas Cool River. I met an attractive 34 years old Professional Gal from Louisiana who is childless and wants to get married and have kids. My friend who has a son introduced me to her and I told her I was a Divorced Father of 5, and Grandfather of 5 Grandsons. She was stunned. She asked me when I got started I told her. She is not a feminist. She saw what Feminism did to her own Family. Her Mother divorced her Father due to Feminist indoctrination. And acknowledges it was evil to do so. She asked me why she couldn’t find a decent Man. I told her the truth. Feminism has screwed her and other Women told them a lie. I told her you should be at home now putting your own kids to bed and taking care of your babies. She started crying. I said Feminism has screwed both Genders and Men have more options than Women do. Thank your Sisters for this Mess.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Tabby on Apr 6, 2005, 4:48pm

I think this is the saddest thing I have ever read. I am a single mother whose husband cheated on me and left me and who is now cheating on his current partner. I do not get supported by the government I work two jobs. I do not get child support because I share custody with my ex husband. I am dating a guy and I share all costs with him. When we take my child places with us I always pay for her and never expect him to. I have a degree and make good money I don’t date to find a father for my child she already has one. So before you bash all single mothers you should learn more about them. My boyfriend does not live with us and he DOES NOT pay my bills. We do not sleep over when I have my daughter but we do do alot of things together. I hope that you don’t stay radical your whole life. Remember that we are to be treated fairly whether we have children or not. Not everyone is bad only the people that think they are above everyone.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Simpson on Apr 6, 2005, 7:13pm

This thread is about reasons to never date single mothers – in summary, they come with too much baggage – and your story, Tabby, is an excellent example of all the baggage they come with.

Quote:So before you bash all single mothers you should learn more about them.

I have freedom of choice, and I choose not to date single mothers. You are arguing with hyperbole when you escalate my freedom of choice to “bashing”.

Quote:Remember that we are to be treated fairly whether we have children or not.

Says who? Look at all the rules you have with your boyfriend, no sleepovers, splitting the cost down the middle, you pay for the kid. Holidays are restricted from shuttling the kid back and forth between parents. Dating a single or divorced mother comes with restrictions that I find unacceptable.

Quote:Not everyone is bad only the people that think they are above everyone.

Again your hyperbole is tiresome; above? below? Bovine scat.
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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Confused lurker on Apr 6, 2005, 10:20pm

Tabby, this will sound harsh, but.

You picked your first husband, no one else did. Period. This simple rule can be applied to anything.

If a gold digger runs off my house and car, who’s fault is that? Mine.

Am I better than many single mothers? I think so. But I’m also better than many men out there. I have the right to think highly of myself. If you disagree, that is your problem, not mine.

Everyone has problems, thats called life. Deal with it.

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Re: 6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by khankrumthebulgar on Apr 7, 2005, 2:12pm

Willie I am Caucasian. My Son in Law is Black. I have a Hispanic Daughter in Law. I have Ojibwa Ancestors (Native Americans). One of the greatest oppressed Males under current public policy is African American Males. You as a group live 12 years less than White Females. The current War on Fathers is a war on Minority poor Fathers. Precisely the most vulnerable on the social strata. Yet Blacks continue to vote Democratic even though Democrats are in Bed with Radical Feminists. Also the President of Planned Parenthood supports limiting Black population growth with abortion. This is genocide being practiced against Blacks.

I am not part of the elite wealthy class. And I have Grandsons who are mixed race. They are family. The dogma you are spouting is not consistent with the facts. Warren Farrell is exactly correct. What I don’t understand is the war being waged against Fathers impacts all races.
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Written by dontmarry

May 13, 2007 at 10:27 am

Posted in dating, dont marry

1,107 Responses

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  1. I think we all need to realize we have a choice when dating. So many factors come into play. Someone may want this, someone may not want this or that. If you don’t want someone with kids don’t date them. If someone doesn’t want a man shorter than 6-2, then don’t date them. If someone doesn’t want a man or women making less than 50k a year, don’t date them. If someone doesn’t want a women over size 2, don’t date them. If someone doesn’t want a women less than size 14, don’t date them. It’s really that simple. We are human and complex, come from different backgrounds. Let people choose. Better to find the right one than the wrong type.

    I think we need to realize than unexpected things happen in life to some of. Could it be loosing a job, having a fortune lost, debt collected, chemical dependent, ect, spouse or significant other abuses or abandons… Yes we all say that “these things could have been avoided” but what about each person’s circumstances? Let’s just say we date who we choose. Just because someone doesn’t accept you, doesn’t mean that it’s time to get mad at the world or everyone of the opposite sex. Maybe that right person hasn’t come yet in your life. And don’t be too quit to bash everyone else that’s not in your shoes. It may just happen to you one day. Some people find it fascinating to come into someone’s life that has children while other’s do not. That’s just how it is. If everyone was the same life would be kind of boring.

    Anonymous

    June 10, 2014 at 8:25 am

  2. I am 26. a single mother of two girls, 7 and 3. I have a BS in nursing and am a published writer. I was married for 9 years and with my ex husband for 12. this entire platform iritates me to no avail. the reason that single mothers often get a bad rap is from simple minded a holes like you ‘older bachelor’. one could just as easily type cast you as a sexsist, emotionless shell of a man that in truth could not handle dating a single mother because your incapable of the selflessness required to carry that burdon. you, and or any man has the right to their preference and opinion. it is your perogitive to not date single mothers. ok good for you. but to type cast us all as irresponsible, slutty, time sucking, money hungry wastes of time might be a bit of a stretch. there are plenty of “white trash women’ as you say out there proving your point, but their are just as many like me. well educated, fit, understanding women, that had a relationship that I gave my all to and it still didnt work out. It happens to everyone, even people without kids. is a woman who was in a failed marriage, or long term relationship any less desirable to you becuase of it? or are they ok? becuase there is no way that some how they may be just as messed up if not worse than a single mother? they could have baggage, insecurities, no education, no money, etc. and it would still be better than the top tier of single mothers? ok. you go ahead with your stone aged thinking but you can leave the impressionable men seeking advice on the subject out. It is difficult enough finding love agian with children without people like you convinceing men they will hate it if they have never even tried. love is difficult enought with out all that. a relasionship is a personal commitment between two people and you never know who will be the one and if you limit yourself by hateful and discriminator circumstances than your no better than the people you look down on.

    Anonymous

    July 2, 2014 at 10:12 pm

    • Someone said a single mother comes with too much baggage….. funny because I know females with no children who have a lot of baggage as well like bad reps, STD, gold diggers, vagina has over 100,000 miles on it. I have 1 kid that I had when I was a teenager who is now 10. It’s your opinion but women with children just so happens to be more responsible and cautious of themselves and decisions they make.

      jaquala88

      July 3, 2014 at 6:49 am

      • “It’s your opinion but women with children just so happens to be more responsible and cautious of themselves and decisions they make.”

        In the dailymail headlines today:

        “British mother abandons her three children to marry Texas violent prisoner she met online after becoming ‘impressed with his honesty’”
        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2677286/British-mother-abandons-three-children-marry-violent-prisoner-met-online-impressed-honesty.html

        “Single mother, 24, LIED about being raped by her ex-boyfriend to cover up shame of sordid kitchen threesome she had with two men she had just met in a pub”
        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2540568/Single-mother-24-LIED-raped-ex-boyfriend-cover-shame-sordid-kitchen-threesome-two-men-just-met-pub.html

        Anonymous

        July 3, 2014 at 10:54 am

        • Just because you have a child does not make you a parent. Some people don’t want there kids and in a few cases I’ve heard some women abandon their children because a man doesn’t want them. But don’t sit here and act like we are all not human and we all make mistakes. You’ve probably done so much worse than what I have done. Half these women are not single parents by choice husband’s fiance or boyfriend murdered. I’m no gold digger I make more money than my boyfriend now while he’s in school. What makes you so different than me NOTHING

          jaquala88

          July 3, 2014 at 5:13 pm

          • “Just because you have a child does not make you a parent”

            Wow.
            Then is someone who has a child is not a parent, to whom do the children belong?

            ” But don’t sit here and act like we are all not human and we all make mistakes.”

            Typical female rationalization hamster. Had the genders been reversed you wouldn’t cease the call the father a deadbeat.

            ” I’m no gold digger I make more money than my boyfriend now while he’s in school.”
            You are only one sample out of billions of women. You are not the RULE you are the EXCEPTION. The exception cannot break the rule unless the exceptions are equal to or greater than the amount that make up the rule.

            Anonymous

            July 3, 2014 at 6:03 pm

  3. I look at it this way. I am a single mother and there’s a lot to consider when dating one. My advice is, if you are ok with her having children, then keep an open mind. If it’s not for you, then don’t waist her time or yours. Most single mothers who have their act together will not care about your wallet, because she probably has accomplished her own success and has a healthy relationship with the child/children’s father. I am a 32 year old single mom, with a highly intelligent boy who is now 16. Sometimes people will judge a book by its cover, but it isn’t always what it seems to be. I am ok with being single. Maybe in the next couple of years I will be married, but for now my focus is my teenager. This article has some truth to it, but I wouldn’t judge every single mother. We all have a story.

    Anonymous

    July 9, 2014 at 9:02 am


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